Poking the Outlet

For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:6, 11

Chastisement, according to Webster’s 1828* dictionary is “correction; punishment; pain inflicted for punishment and correction, either by stripes or otherwise.”  When our children are little bitty and discover the electrical outlet, we warn them not to touch; when they poke the outlet with a plastic teething ring we might warn them again.  If they mess around with that outlet once more a stinging ‘pat’ on the hand and a firm “No!” will usually teach them the lesson.  That lesson equates pain with playing with outlets, potentially saving them from testing those little holes with a metal fork later in life. (Mommies – when that little face screws up and a pitiful wail ensues after the chastisement, just remember that you are potentially saving your child from future electrocution.)

As Christ followers, we have the privilege of receiving chastisement from the Ultimate Parent.  I say privilege because the Scriptures clearly state that the Lord chastens those whom He loves.  If I am suffering uncomfortable consequences due to sin, it is because He loves me enough to allow pain to teach me that wickedness does not bring joy to the believer.  What might that chastisement look like in a Christian’s life?

Gossip can lead to broken relationships and embarrassment.

Pride can lead to demotion, humiliation, loss of friends and family.

Nagging can lead to stressful marriages that spiral downward.

Lack of self control (physically or financially) can lead to broken relationships or shortfalls in a budget.

Refusal to submit to those in authority can lead to chaos in a home, church, or workplace.

The wonderful news is that chastisement has a purpose that will always bring peaceable righteousness IF the chastised person is trained in the midst of the lesson.  To be trained is to be “formed by instruction.”  If we are gossipy and choose to learn from the consequences, we will be formed into one who loves others and understands the power of words; a nagging wife will be formed in a woman who considers her husband’s needs and the huge responsibilities that rest on him as the leader, provider, and protector of the home; a prideful person will become known for her humility and will not pat herself on the back for that reputation, instead she will give glory to God alone. 

Learning from our chastisement affords a great opportunity to give honor to the Lord.  He forgives our sin and does not hold it against us; He uses our brokenness to bring about the peaceable (“free from war, tumult or public commotion”) fruit of righteousness (“purity of heart”) that will draw people’s attention to Christ.  Submitting to God and allowing yourself to be humbled will draw you closer to the One who loves you enough to administer chastisement in order to teach you not to poke the outlet.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:7-10

Prayer: Father, please help me not to waste the training that comes with chastisement.  Let me see Your perfect love for me even as I walk through painful consequences due to my own sinful actions.  Amen.

Challenge: Are you blaming some hard things in your life right now on an ‘attack from the enemy’?  It might certainly be just that, but take time to examine your heart and be sure.  It could be that you are fighting a ‘battle’ that is really a time of training from the Lord.

*all definitions are from Webster's 1828 Dictionary

Jen G. 2012

A Matter of Honor

Children’s children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.  Proverbs 17:6

My husband and I are blessed to be in a church where my father is pastor.  For our entire marriage we have enjoyed the benefits of a personal 24 hour day ‘Dial a Preacher’ line, immense wisdom, and a walking, talking concordance with cell phone reach-ability all over the world.  We greatly respect Dad!  Recently, however, we were convicted of a subtle sin in our lives: a lack of showing honor to my father.  If you had ever asked me if I thought this was something we were guilty of I would have laughed in your face.  Us? Failing to show honor and respect for the family patriarch?  Ha!  Sadly, it was true. 

We had begun to notice little things that some of our children were saying and doing, all of which smacked of a lack of honor and respect for men.  Oh, it was nothing blatant or outright awful, but we could sense it under the surface.  Adrian and I began to pray, asking the Lord to show us what was causing this.  Turns out, our own actions were teaching our children some very bad habits. I will address my own behavior to give you an idea of how a lack of honoring is taught. (Personally, I think the bulk of the blame lies with me, but my godly husband understands his role and responsibility as head of our home and is not one to throw me under a bus.)

My own delight in giving my two cents was telling my children that Dad and Grandpa really could not make good decisions without my counsel.  Joking about things such as what Daddy was wearing or what Grandpa was eating translated that these grown, mature men needed someone to help them with the very basic choices of each day because they were just too simple-minded to figure it out on their own.  Second guessing decisions that these men had prayed about was undermining their place as leaders in our family.  All of this was rubbing against everything else my husband and I were trying to teach our children about esteeming men of God.

He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. Proverbs 19:26

We are so thankful that the Lord made us aware of this dangerous and erosive behavior in our lives.  We repented to my father and are making changes in how we speak to him, especially in front of the children. 

And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves. 1 Thessalonians 5:12, 13

The scariest thing about all of this: we could not see our sin.  It was so subtle that even Dad was a little confused when we asked his forgiveness!  Praise God that our children are like little barometers.  They will act out what they are taught, even the silent lessons we do not realize we are teaching. 

Prayer:

Father, thank You for your Holy Spirit who came to be a helper, showing us the areas of our lives that are displeasing to You.  Please open our eyes to the things that bring dishonor to Your name and to those who are older or in a place of authority in our lives.  Amen

Challenge:

If you see behaviors in your children that are contrary to what you are verbally teaching them, examine your own life for silent lessons you might be presenting: lack of respect for your husband by leaving him out of decisions involving schooling or church attendance; unkindness through sarcastic words disguised as a joke; lack of self control dressed up as a free spirit; a controlling spirit cloaked in a hyper-scheduled day.

If you see this sin in your own life, humble yourself, go to the person and repent.  Then change your actions and heart attitude and begin to repair that which has been torn down!

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

Jen G 2012

From Now On

by Jen G. 2011 - with much thanks to Pastor Bill for the excellent message that inspired this devotion. 

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In Luke 5: 1-11 the story is told of Jesus preaching to the multitudes by Lake of Gennesaret (Sea of Galilee). Feeling crowded as the people pressed into Him, Jesus hopped into Simon Peter’s anchored boat and asked him to put out a bit. When Jesus was through teaching from his floating pulpit, He told Simon to set out further into the deep waters and let his nets down for a catch.

“But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.” vs. 5

The fisherman of this time period did their hard work in the night hours. Fish would come into the shallows during that time and it made the job of catching them much easier. When daylight came, the fisherman would take their nets in for cleaning and repair – not an easy or tidy job. The idea of going back out after a full night’s work and after the nets were repaired was not tempting to Peter, but after giving Jesus his opinion (of course), he agreed to head out.

Jesus blessed abundantly. So abundantly, in fact, that Simon’s nets began to break and he had to call in his partners, James and John, to help divide the catch. Even then both boats held so much fish they began to sink. When Peter sees this happening, he throws himself before Jesus and confesses his unbelief and unworthiness to be in his presence. Jesus does not fuss at Peter, but instead encourages him and his friends.

“Do not be afraid. From now on you will catch men.” vs. 10b

Jesus used this blessing of a huge catch under less than ideal circumstances to prepare His chosen disciples for the work and blessings that would be coming their way.

Has the Lord asked you to do something? Maybe He wants you to take on babysitting a child for a single mom but you are worried about the time it will take from your own personal pursuits. Has He asked you to stop teaching a Bible study or Sunday School and instead focus on your home? Maybe He has asked you to let go of a carefully guarded bitterness or to not argue with your husband even when he is being unreasonable. He may be telling you to step out into completely terrifying waters and trust Him completely.

“So when they had brought their boats to land, they forsook all and followed Him.” vs. 11

Do not be afraid to follow where your Lord is leading you.* He promises great blessings when you forsake all and follow Him. From now on, forsake the comfort of your own rationale and reason and let Him show His power.

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Prayer:

Lord, thank You for using Peter to show how pushing through and obeying even when it is not convenient still brings blessing. Help me to follow you regardless of the inconvenience, knowing that what You have planned is so much better than what I think. Amen.

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Challenge:

What might the Lord be asking you to do – or not do? Step out this week and follow Him in that thing.

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*As a married woman or young woman still under her father’s covering, seek the wise counsel of your husband/parents. If they do not agree with what you feel the Lord is calling you to do, do not fret. He will make a way for you to obey Him while honoring those in authority in your life. Sometimes patiently waiting for others to catch up is part of the forsaking all and following Him. And remember - the Lord would never ask you to do anything against His Word in order to follow Him. This includes rebellion to parents, divorce, lying, etc.

Jen G. 2011



Are You a Jonah or a Moses?

My daughter and I were out with some friends looking for riding gear. While we were chatting, the young woman assisting us briefly shared a recent trial. The “I will be sure to pray for you” sentiment pushed forward in my mouth. And then the Lord clearly told me to offer to pray with the young woman assisting us.

Jen: “Seriously, Lord? You are seriously telling me to ask this girl if I can pray for her. In the middle of this store?”

Lord: “Yep. I am.”

As my heart surrendered to His leading, the sweaty palms and pounding in my chest subsided. A peace and confidence flooded over me as I boldly asked, “Would it totally freak you out if I prayed with you right now?”

The young woman looked surprised, but immediately said she would love it if we prayed. My daughter and our friends bowed their heads as if praying in the middle of a ritzy tack store while people milled around was the most natural thing in the world. And I prayed.

This story is shared not because I have a handle on immediate obedience, but because I do not. More often than not, I resist the urging of the Holy Spirit. I beg Him to speak to me, give me direction and use me. And then, when He tries to, I argue. I tell Him I am too embarrassed, not qualified and not gifted enough. In doing so I miss whatever blessing He has for me in the task at hand. Even worse, I fear, is the blessing someone else will miss because of my orneriness. Praise the Lord that this time I listened!

Jonah argued with the Lord. Instead of listening and obeying, he came up with a myriad of excuses. Most of them centered on the unworthiness of the people of whom he was being asked to minister. He did eventually end up obeying, but it was with a sour heart bent on getting the job over and done with. When the people listened to the Lord’s warning Jonah was mad! (Jonah 3:10-4:1)

Moses argued with the Lord as well. He gave reasons why he was not qualified to do the seemingly impossible job of leading the Israelites into freedom. Moses’ issues stemmed from fear rather than stuck up, Jonah pride. The Lord spoke to Moses firmly, assuring him that he was called and would be thoroughly equipped. As a result of Moses' obedience, God’s people were led into freedom and we have a beautiful example of an Old Testament shadow of Christ’s atoning work. (Exodus 3 and 4)

Are you a Jonah or a Moses? What is the Lord asking you to do and how are you responding? Do you jump at the chance to see how the Lord will work in your weakness or do you puff yourself up thinking that you are too good for the mission He has called you to perform? I encourage you to get ready to respond positively to what He calls you to do today.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,  not of works, lest anyone should boast.  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."  Ephesians 2:8-10

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Prayer:

Father, I thank You that You have equipped me for every good work and that nothing is too difficult for me to accomplish through You alone. Help me to listen to Your voice today and to act immediately. Amen.

Challenge:

This week, start your days off asking the Lord to prepare your heart to hear His instructions and act on them. When you feel Him speaking to you, step out and DO what He is directing you to do. Keep a written record of how often you felt prompted to speak or do something and the results.

Jen G. 2010

The Perfect Sin-o-Meter

This article was posted last November on Fresh Starts.  At the time, I was breathing a huge sigh of relief because I thought the Lord was all done with the area I addressed in this writing.  Boy, was I wrong!  He was just getting started.  Our God is so faithful to finish the job, never leaving anything undone or unaddressed.  I pray that He will speak to you again, or for the first time, through this week's Fresh Start.  Jen

This past year has been the most wonderfully difficult time I can remember in my adult years. You might think the words ‘wonderfully’ and ‘difficult’ do not belong in the same sentence, but I can tell you that they certainly do! The Lord has been taking me through the deepest, darkest parts of my heart exposing and rooting out selfishness, unforgiveness, resentment, pride, harshness, anger – the list is long and ugly. I was unaware that most of these things where even in there. Thankfully, the Lord has a handy attribute called Omniscience and He is not afraid to use it.


In His goodness, the Lord has allowed me to see, read, and hear my own ugliness. This year long process came to a head this past month when He directed me to Psalm 19, having me read over and over again how His Word is the perfect sin-o-meter.

Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression. Psalm 19:12,13

When I see justification for an offence taken, the Word sees an excuse to set up walls to keep others out. (Proverbs 18:19) When I see a reason to withhold forgiveness, it sees a woman who is willing to receive the precious forgiveness of Jesus but is unwilling to extend that same forgiveness to a peer. (Matt. 18:23-35) When I see a situation that is ripe for sarcasm and anger, He sees a heart that is refusing to live at peace with all men. (Romans 12:18)

I encourage you not to stuff and ignore those nagging feelings that pop up. Trust me on this - I tried to ignore the conviction and it only extended the process, creating more issues along the way. Recognize the niggling for what it is: a warning to be heeded (Psalm 19:11), and the reward for paying attention and taking action is great and worth the pain of facing and dealing with your sin.

When we allow the Lord to work freely in our hearts, the process is usually very uncomfortable. The great thing is that with that pain there is the gain of having a clean heart before Him. The secret faults, the presumptuous sins – none can be hidden from the lamp of God’s Word. When those secret sins are exposed and dealt with the effects are long reaching to our homes, churches, friendships, and workplaces, making the result of the difficult process truly wonderful!

Prayer:
Father, thank You for exposing my sin. Thank You for doing it little by little, bringing me to a place of repentance. Help me to walk in Your ways in every area of my life, never resisting Your good and perfect plan for me.

Challenge:
Read Psalm 19 in its entirety each day this week, focusing especially on verses 7 through 14. Make special note of what the Word of God is. Be careful not to fall into presumptuous sins - things that tend to be given a stamp of approval because, well, we are human after all. Some of those might include your tone of voice with your kids (They made me mad!), your critical spirit over the worship at church (It is just not my style. Why can't we sing more [insert favorite style here]?), your resistance to do something your husband has asked (He knows I hate fish! Why should I have to cook it?). Those justified sins can be the most dangerous and quickly gain dominion over you (Psalm 19:13).
Jen G. 2009

Ezer

This week I am honored to share another beautiful writing from my friend Adrienne of Provision Farm.  Adrienne is able to take every part of life on a farm and find the deep spiritual lesson.  May we all be as observant in the place the Lord has called us.

How can I not write about my dog, Asher? Asher is a border collie, and he helps me move the livestock every day. Before I had him, I would run around like a fool, yelling and waving my arms trying to round up the sheep. They didn't take me very seriously. I didn't take me very seriously.

Asher does so much more than help me move the stock. Asher is a good friend. Ask anyone who has visited my home and they will tell you that he greets you with a hug. He will wrap his arms around your leg and squeeze. He is extremely obedient and will always go out of his way to obey. He not only answers to me, but to anyone. He responds even to my children as an authority. If you tell him to lay down, he will drop to the ground immediately with no hesitation. His desire is to please...always. I have even had friends bring their dogs to my home, and Asher keeps them in line and will not let them disobey their owner or chase chickens or whatever else naughty a dog may do.

When we need a job with the stock done, the first question is: "Where's Asher? I need him." He brings order to the barnyard and he carries authority. The very sight of him makes the sheep bolt into the barn, so I actually cannot have him out during feeding time or the sheep would never get fed. With all he does, though, he doesn't assume his own authority; but he submits to me.

The word "ezer" accurately describes Asher in my life. Ezer is the Hebrew word for "help".

One of the first uses of it in Scripture is when Adam meets Eve and she is called his "ezer kenegdo" (help-meet). This is found in Genesis 2:18. God says that it is not good for man to be alone. Man alone is a lot like the picture of me trying to round up the sheep without Asher. What I'm speaking of is that woman was created to help man do his job. Ladies, remember to submit to your husband and have a heart for pleasing him. If you are not married, do it for your father. If you are single, do it for God who is your heavenly Father and your Bridegroom. Be His ezer kenegdo...it's who you were created to be, and anything apart from that will leave you feeling incomplete because you are truly being delinquent against the very fiber of your being.

Help can also take on the form of something much stronger than something that comes alongside you that aids you in your tasks. The word "ezer" is used again in Psalm 121--

"If I raise my eyes to the hills, from where will my help come? My help comes from Adonai, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--your guardian is not asleep. No, the guardian of Israel never slumbers or sleeps. Adonai is your guardian; at your right hand Adonai provides you with shade--the sun can't strike you during the day or even the moon at night. Adonai will guard you against all harm; he will guard your life. Adonai will guard your coming and going from now on and forever."

Come again? "...at your right hand?" That sounds like God is our helper! Not only do we come alongside God to carry out His will, He comes alongside us to aid us in what He's called us to do. What a beautiful design the Lord laid out for our relationship with Him! My dear Asher is much like this picture of "helping guardian", as nothing happens on my land that Asher is not aware of first. He alerts me so that I can be watchful. He makes me a better ruler over this land the Lord gave me.

Ezer. What a beautiful word.

"Two are better than one, in that their cooperative efforts yield this advantage: if one of them falls, the other will help his partner up--woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no one to help him up." -Ecclesiastes 4:9&10

Prayer:

Father, You are my All in all.  You are the One who gives me the opportunity to be a part in Your perfect will and plan.  Please help me to be mindful of what You would have me do and say each and every day.  Help me to remember that You are my Helper in time of need.  Amen

Challenge:

Are you walking fully in your calling as a woman?  That might be as a daughter or a wife.  It might be as a single woman on your own.  Embrace the place the Lord has you now, and look for ways to be His ezer kenegdo.

Adrienne 2010

Is Your Husband on the Roof?

I am so excited to introduce a new contributor to Fresh Starts. Alexis is a blogger writes the wonderful, heart touching, soul convicting Faithful Rubies Daily Devotionals. You can be blessed daily by visiting http://faithfulrubies.blogspot.com and signing up to receive these gems in your inbox.

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Better to live on a corner of a roof
than share a house with a
quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 25:25

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Imagine for a minute going on a month long vacation which turns into a life changing move. Not only do you not return to your hometown to say good-bye to friends and family but you also do not return to pack up your house. Instead your husband makes the 2000 mile return trip home to pack up everything and close out your life in your hometown. For over 2 months you and your three kids live with family, a month of which is without your spouse. Imagine the stress, the exhaustion, and the emotional toll that scenario might take on you.
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I do not have to imagine, I am living this reality. What started as a month long vacation to find work for my husband has turned into a life-long move from my hometown of over 30 years. This move had been anticipated but not quite so quickly. Soon after my husband returned home my stress level sky rocketed. I was so stressed that I was bickering with my husband over the phone almost daily. We do not argue very often so I knew something was astray within myself. As I searched for help and guidance in scripture I came across Proverbs 25:25.
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This proverb rings true for me on so many levels. Ponder the depth of this verse for a moment. Think of the impact and relevance it has in your own life and marriage. A quarrelsome wife has not only the power and ability to make her husband leave his home but he might think it better to live on the roof than to live with her. Living in the cold and exposing himself to the elements on top of a hard roof top is better than being in the same room as his cranky wife. Living on a roof top is figurative of course, but you get the point.
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The husband and father is the backbone to every family; the leader, the spiritual guide. His place is not on the roof forced there by an angry wife. Has this ever been you? Be honest with yourself. I know I am guilty! Personally it breaks my heart and brings me to my knees in prayer when I realize I am a thorn in my husband's side. Our husbands do so much for us everyday, we should shower them with thanks and appreciation.
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From 2000 miles away I was forcing my husband to sleep on the roof. Shame on me! Thankfully, I have been able to change my ways and we are no longer arguing. Now my kids and I are eagerly awaiting his safe arrival in our new hometown in a few weeks.
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Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, please forgive me of my sins and shortsightedness. O Lord, it is not my desire to be argumentative. I do not enjoy quarreling with my husband. O Father, please give me the strength and wisdom to change my heart, my actions, and my mind. Father I want to align my thoughts and actions according to Your will. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
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Challenge:
What is something you can do today to improve your attitude toward your husband? How can you show him that you appreciate his hard work? Don't just think it, do it!

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Alexis 2010

Taking a Second Trip Through..."The Buffet"

Faithful readers, in the spirit of following my own advice, I am stepping back this week and offering you this devotional from March of last year. I pray the second trip through the buffet will minister to you!*

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…[she] will not dwell unduly on the days of [her] life, because God keeps [her] busy with the joy of [her] heart. Ecclesiastes 5:20

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Sometimes we all suffer from what is commonly referred to as “too much on our plate.” Church functions, support group meetings, dance, sports, co ops, parties, music lessons, field trips, meetings, organizations, and ministries are just waiting to fill our time and minds. It's important for us to remember that each outside activity we take on pulls us from our first calling as wives and mothers. After our relationship with the Lord and our husbands we are called to be keepers at home. Is this possible while we are running to appointments, meetings, or recreational events?
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Before you think I'm telling you to chain yourself to the kitchen stove and never leave your home or go on outings with the kids, let me make a confession: I'm a people person. I love to go to meetings; they're fun for me; I love parties, especially if there's a restaurant involved! However, I must use discretion and moderation when choosing these activities. Even more so, I need to ask my husband for his counsel before committing to activities outside the home.
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As wives and mothers we set the tone of the home. Be it peaceful or chaotic, the atmosphere is directly tied to us. If we are rushed, stirred up, over committed, and heavy laden we bring a sense of unsettledness, even anxiety to our homes. Proverbs tells us that a foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands. I believe that sometimes this is done with a day planner and the best of intentions.
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It is okay to say “no” to requests for your time and energy outside of your home. This season of your life is already filled with something that has eternal value. If it builds up your home and your husband gives his blessing, then go ahead and say “yes”. Be sure, however, to listen with an open heart to his counsel and be gracious when he says “no” to something you are convinced is the best opportunity ever to come your way. The Lord will reward you greatly for planting yourself in your home and ministering to your family.

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Prayer:

Father, thank you that you have given me a family to care for and to love. Please help me to bring all things before you in prayer before jumping in to a commitment. Remind me to trust Your wisdom in my husband and to follow his leadership cheerfully in this area. Help me to guard my heart against resentment and boredom during this time in my life.

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Challenge:

Make it a point this week to calculate how much time you spend outside of your home, keeping track of the atmosphere in your home and your own heart attitudes. Ask your husband to evaluate your schedule and commitments, pray about them, and then talk with you about what needs to change. Commit to following his leadership cheerfully, being thankful that you have his covering over you. When you are on the receiving end of a busy mom's “no”, please remember to be gracious and realize just how difficult that "no" might be for her.

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Jen 2006

The Forgotten Woman

I’m often amazed that whenever I read or hear messages about various women in the Bible, there is a special woman who isn’t mentioned. If you want to learn from a woman on prayer, you can look to Hannah. If you want to look to a woman on bravery and courage, you can look to Esther. If you want to look to a woman on leadership, you can look to Deborah. But, what if you wanted to look to a woman on sexuality? Who comes to mind? Does anyone? What about the Shulamite woman found in the Song of Solomon?
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Whenever I read this wonderful love story, I close my Bible excited and encouraged to strive to apply her lifestyle to my life and marriage. I think she’s the best example as to how to be a woman of purity and a woman of passion. I’d like for us to look at her character, to seek to desire some of it in our own lives, and to possibly teach it to our daughters and other young ladies. Let’s take a look:
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In the first three chapters, she displays a great example of how a woman/girl is to wait to be married to her husband. Throughout their courtship, she displayed much purity in her conduct (1:7-8) and praise towards Solomon (1:2-4). Then in the last chapters, she displays another great example of how a woman is to be wildly passionate towards her husband. Throughout the rest of the book, you can see how she expresses her attraction to Solomon and how she was ready and willing to give herself fully to him passionately and sexually in every way. As you read the entire chapter, you’ll see that the Shulamite woman was:
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A woman of compliments towards Solomon (1:2-4, 13-16): Remember how you were when you realized how much you were in love with your husband? Remember how you would talk about him a lot to your friends and family? When was the last time you took the time and looked at all of your husband’s features? Try it and see what happens.
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A woman of confidence in her beauty and her relationship to Solomon (1:5; 2:4, 6; 7:10): How often do you allow your flaws to keep you from being reminded of how the Lord has wonderfully made you? Even to the point where it can hinder you availing yourself to your husband? What have you allowed to prevent you from availing yourself to your spouse freely?
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A woman of chastity (1:7-8; 2:7; 3:5; 8:10): There was a certain appearance prostitutes had whenever they wore veils. She was determined not to wear her veil in such a way that would give anyone the impression that she was one of them. This was a character that the other women noticed. Even as an older woman, are you still aware of what and how you dress? Do you demonstrate a life of chastity in the eyes of other females?
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A woman of expressions (1:13-14; 2:3; 3:1): She was very expressive about her passions, desires, and love for Solomon. How often do you openly express how you feel to or about your spouse?

A woman of excitement (2:8): Whenever she saw or heard Solomon’s voice or knew of his coming, she was excited to see him. What are you like whenever you know your husband is coming home or when he arrives home?
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A woman of recreation (4:16; 7:9 – 8:4, 12): She was ready and willing to avail herself sexually to Solomon and she did it with such excitement and passion towards him. How often do you avail yourself sexually towards yours husband in such a way?
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A woman of reconciliation (5:2 – 6:3): It is said that somewhere in those two chapters, the couple had their first argument. As you read it, you can see how she still had kind thoughts and words towards him. What are you like during and after an argument with your spouse?
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I love the example that this woman displays throughout this book. God uses her so much to convict me to be just as compassionate towards my own husband. Whenever I find myself “not in the mood,” God uses her example to get me “in the mood” to love on my dear and sweet hubby. At times, I’m quick to follow her example…and then there are other times when I’m not too quick! I pray that after reading about her, we’ll all come to see that she should no longer be a forgotten woman.
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Prayer:
Dear Lord, thank You for including the Song of Solomon in Your Word. I’m so thankful for how You have allowed this couple to display such a beautiful example of what godly and romantic love looks like – that it’s something to be adored, admired, and adapted in our own lives. Please help us as wives to be like her. In Your name, Amen.
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Challenge:
Go through each of those examples of the Shulamite’s character and try to apply one of them a day. I’m convinced as you avail yourself to the Spirit’s control, you’ll become a newly (or more) passionate woman. Regardless of where your marriage might be, purpose in your heart before the Lord (and accountability partner if need be), that you’re going to strive to be a passionate and expressive wife to your husband.

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Zinnada Hodges 2009

I Forgot I Was Naked

Countless times in my married life I have caught a glimpse of myself in that bathroom mirror after a shower, each time lamenting my size and shape. The distress I experienced didn’t last long, however. After that post-shower shock I usually headed into a day of eating what ever tempted my taste buds. Each trip to the fridge or pantry could have been drastically changed if only I had not forgotten what I looked like naked.
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Many times I have experienced something very similar spiritually. I spend time in the Word and am convicted by the Holy Spirit about some sin issue in my life. Afterwards I stumble right into the same sin pattern, completely forgetting what the Lord showed me. I have heard the Word of the Lord, yet I walk away failing to do (obey) what He said.
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But be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. James 1:22-24
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In the first part of the passage the man observed himself and then walked away deceived. He was deceived because he thought he had done all that was required of him by simply hearing the Word. Think of telling your child to clean up his room and then finding that he did not. When you approach him he assures you that it is okay. After all, he heard you, isn’t that enough? Obviously that is beyond ridiculous, but I do the same thing in my walk with the Lord. As always, when the Lord points out a common problem in the Christian walk He also gives the solution.
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But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. James 1:25
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The key is to “continue” in the Word. I obviously can not tote a Bible around with me all day long ignoring those around me so I can stay in the Word, but I can study and hide that Word in my heart. When I hear God’s Word through reading or listening it is imperative that I do more than just hear it. I must DO it. I must walk out what He has graciously shown me. If I do not then I am deceiving myself into thinking that simply hearing it is okay. Hearing combined with doing is what will bring blessing to my life. I must look into His perfect law of freedom and walk it out. I must continue to hear and examine and do what He tells me. His way brings blessing and freedom. My way leaves me walking around naked. And who wants to do that?
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Prayer:
Father, thank You that Your Word exposes sin in my life. Please help me to be obedient when You reveal something to me. I desire to walk in Your perfect law of freedom each day. Amen
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Challenge:
This week do more than glance at yourself in the mirror of the Word. Look deeply into it, taking note of specific areas where you need to obey the Lord. If you have a hard time remembering those areas make a sign and post it on your refrigerator or wall. For example: “Arguing with my husband is a sign of pride in my life. God’s Word says where there is self-seeking that evil and confusion abound. (James 3:16) ”

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Jen 2009

A Listening Heart

We had an exciting event take place at our home this week – a new grandgirl arrived! Her name is Naomi, and she is already bringing her old grandparents much delight (her name means “delightful”).
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I say “old” because in some ways, I am feeling old these days. We have a total of seven grandchildren (with one on the way), the gray is starting to show up, and I cannot climb the stairs as quickly as I once could. The days of thinking of myself as a youth are long gone.
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So while I was recently reading through Ecclesiastes, I did not have to think too hard about which age category I fell into when I read from chapter 4. Here is the verse that caught my attention:
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A poor yet wise lad is better than an old and foolish king who no longer knows how to receive instruction. Ecclesiastes 4:13.
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A few years ago I would have focused on the young person’s part of the verse, but that day my attention was focused on the “old” part. Not that I am a queen (only in my own mind!), but I was caught up short by the question of how well do I receive instruction?
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I lead worship at our church, and there are two young members on the team. There have been times when both of them have given their thoughts (always respectfully) about something we were working through or needed to decide. There have also been times when I was going one direction, and one of them really thought we should do something differently. These moments cause me to think hard before speaking and to measure my response to them. I cannot lie and say that I am never tempted to push my own way due to their youthfulness. Not that I am always successful, but the Lord reminds me to look at them with His eyes – He sees the wisdom He is building into their hearts, and even though they are younger, He is doing a marvelous work in their lives. I actively try to listen to their instruction.
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But what about when my “king,” my dear husband, instructs me in something? I don’t always think hard before speaking back, but my response is often measured – it can be quite a loooong response back! This is not the way of the Lord. He would have me receive instruction with a listening heart.
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There are many people in our lives who should be able to give us instruction: friends, bosses, elders, partners in our ministries, parents, and yes, even our younger children. And of course, the Holy Spirit gives us the most important instruction of all.
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So as I hold little Naomi in my arms, I wonder what instruction she is going to give me through the years. It may not be verbal, but she will have instruction in the Lord’s ways to give me. Will I be old and foolish and not listen to what the Lord speaks through her, or will I be wise and have a “lev shema,” a listening heart? May the Lord help me to be wise and to listen to anyone He sends to instruct me in His ways, young or old.
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Prayer:

Dear Lord, please help me to hear You this week. Help me to listen to Your instruction in any way You choose to give it – through Your Holy Spirit, Your Word, my husband, my parents, my peers, and yes, even through my children and grandchildren. Please grant me a listening heart that is quick to obey You. Amen

Challenge:

Be mindful of how the Lord might send instruction to you this week. Ask Him to help you listen to Him, no matter how He speaks to you. A good place to start is spending 15 minutes a day reading the Proverb of the day. Today is June 1 – read through Proverbs 1 today, then Proverbs 2 tomorrow, etc. Proverbs 1: 5 says, “A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel…” And verse 7 reminds us: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

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Julie Bailey 2009

The Buffet

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…[she] will not dwell unduly on the days of [her] life, because God keeps [her] busy with the joy of [her] heart. Ecclesiastes 5:20

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Sometimes we all suffer from what is commonly referred to as “too much on our plate.” Church functions, support group meetings, dance, sports, co ops, parties, music lessons, field trips, meetings, organizations, and ministries are just waiting to fill our time and minds. It's important for us to remember that each outside activity we take on pulls us from our first calling as wives and mothers. After our relationship with the Lord and our husbands we are called to be keepers at home. Is this possible while we are running to appointments, meetings, or recreational events?
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Before you think I'm telling you to chain yourself to the kitchen stove and never leave your home or go on outings with the kids, let me make a confession: I'm a people person. I love to go to meetings; they're fun for me; I love parties, especially if there's a restaurant involved! However, I must use discretion and moderation when choosing these activities. Even more so, I need to ask my husband for his counsel before committing to activities outside the home.
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As wives and mothers we set the tone of the home. Be it peaceful or chaotic, the atmosphere is directly tied to us. If we are rushed, stirred up, over committed, and heavy laden we bring a sense of unsettledness, even anxiety to our homes. Proverbs tells us that a foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands. I believe that sometimes this is done with a day planner and the best of intentions.
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It is okay to say “no” to requests for your time and energy outside of your home. This season of your life is already filled with something that has eternal value. If it builds up your home and your husband gives his blessing, then go ahead and say “yes”. Be sure, however, to listen with an open heart to his counsel and be gracious when he says “no” to something you are convinced is the best opportunity ever to come your way. The Lord will reward you greatly for planting yourself in your home and ministering to your family.

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Prayer:

Father, thank you that you have given me a family to care for and to love. Please help me to bring all things before you in prayer before jumping in to a commitment. Remind me to trust Your wisdom in my husband and to follow his leadership cheerfully in this area. Help me to guard my heart against resentment and boredom during this time in my life.

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Challenge:

Make it a point this week to calculate how much time you spend outside of your home, keeping track of the atmosphere in your home and your own heart attitudes. Ask your husband to evaluate your schedule and commitments, pray about them, and then talk with you about what needs to change. Commit to following his leadership cheerfully, being thankful that you have his covering over you. When you are on the receiving end of a busy mom's “no”, please remember to be gracious and realize just how difficult that "no" might be for her.

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Jen 2006