Great Expectations - Guest Post

This week’s devotional is actually an email from a dear friend.  She sends lovely ponderings each month that truly cause you to stop and think.  Recently, she wrote about expectations and it was simply too good to keep to myself.  So, with permission from my friend, I give you….Great Expectations.  Some revisions have been made for clarity in this devotional setting.

“People are so quick to become angry or offended when their expectations aren’t met.  It’s hard to first of all know what those expectations are and secondly, to meet them all.  

Why expect so much of people?  Why get offended (or sever a relationship) when an expectation isn’t met?  Here are some expectations followed by thoughts to ponder:

1. Do we expect our husbands to read our minds? (How could he possibly know what I was thinking?)
2. I should have been told first that they were expecting a baby! (It is not the end of the world if I do not know first.  Why steal their joy of sharing the news?)
3. She should have apologized for XYZ! (Why should I expect her to apologize if I never told her I was offended?)
4. My feelings are hurt because she didn’t speak to me at the store. (She probably did not see me in the store.)
5. I heard they don’t like me so I am upset. (I should find out from THEM if they are offended with me and try to make it right...)
6. You didn’t invite me for supper and you invited THEM! (I should assume that person or family needed some one on one TLC and be happy for them.)
7. They didn’t tell me that they are engaged.  I should have been told before anyone else!! (Who made THAT rule?  What does it matter?)
8. You haven’t called me in a whole week! (Are you counting?  Who made a rule that someone needs to call in certain intervals anyway? The phone rings both ways.)
9. You haven’t been to see me in ages! (The road runs both ways, too.)

There are many more examples. My advice: don’t have unreasonable expectations of people.  Give lots and lots of grace in all situations.  Never keep score. Never count. Try never to feel left out.  Choose to believe the best in people.   Those are all choices. 

Not everyone has bad intentions.  Not everyone tries to leave you out or forget you exist.  Not many people conspire behind your back to make you upset, mad, or hurt your feelings. People are human and make mistakes.  Sometimes the list is too long and you are accidentally left off of it.  Sometimes the human mind is frail and forgets.  Sometimes people are thinking of other things and forget.  Maybe you only heard part of the story.  Sometimes they have a good reason (like someone else needing TLC) as to why you weren’t included.  Don’t assume the worst.   Does it really matter in the long run?  A year from now will you still remember (unless you hold grudges which you shouldn’t do anyway)?

Remember: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.   Are you showing true love to others?”

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble.  Psalm 119:165

Prayer:

Father, thank You for experiences that allow me to practice giving grace.  Please help me to not place expectations on other people that set me up as Junior Holy Spirit and Judge.  Amen.

Challenge:

Take a good hard look at your life this week.  Do you place expectations on others that are unreasonable?  Oh, of course, we all have expectations of people who claim Christ acting Christ like, our children being obedient, services being provided in a timely manner, etc.  Those kinds of expectations are good.  Focus on areas of your life that you have set up expectations, if even in your mind, that are unreasonable and unfair to others.

Gayle B. 2012

Edited and revised by Jen G. 2012

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Distracted by Worship

Distract: to turn or draw from any object; to divert from any point, towards another point or toward various other objects; as, to distract the eye or the attention.

King David was the master of distracting himself with worship.  Over and over in the Psalms you read his heart wrenching prayers.  He poured out his hurt and anger when friends and family betrayed him, his fear and frustration when people plotted to kill him or take the throne, his grief over his sin with Bathsheba and the final consequence resulting in the death of their child.  Each time, however, David returns to worship.  He never allows a prayer to end without reminding himself of the goodness and faithfulness of God.

LORD, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, “There is no help for him in God.”  BUT You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.  Psalm 3:2b, 3a

They confronted me in the day of my calamity, BUT the LORD was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me. Psalm 18:18, 19

When the wicked spring up like grass, and when all the workers of iniquity flourish... But You, LORD, are on high forevermore.  Psalm 92: 7a, 8

My days are like a shadow that lengthens, and I wither away like grass. But You, O LORD, shall endure forever, and the remembrance of Your name to all generations. Psalm 102:11, 12

Life is not easy.  We are faced daily with our own sin and the sin of others.  It all affects us in some way.  We can choose to follow the lead of hurt and anger and confusion, consequently falling into a pit of depression or bitterness, or we can stand firm and declare "BUT GOD".  He is the final authority, not our circumstances.  

CHOOSE to be distracted by worship of the most holy God!

Prayer:

You, O Lord, are worthy of praise in every circumstance.   Allow me to be immersed in Your presence as I turn from the discouragement and schemes of the enemy.  Amen

Challenge:

There is a Psalm for every situation that might draw your attention away from the truth of God's character.  Gossipy friends, wayward children, depression, financial troubles, illness - there's a Psalm for that.  Find them and use them to pattern your own prayer times.  David did not hide under a rock or put on a happy face when trouble came around.  He faced it head on, called it what it was, and then reminded himself of who God is and what He has promised to His children.

Jen G. 2012

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He Will Strengthen Your Heart

“I wish I could just crawl into a hole and pull it in behind me.”

Staring into a bottomless pit, numb, wrung out, heartsick and hopeless; these are all words that describe someone who has lost heart.  Losing heart is not something reserved just for those who experience traumatic events such as the death of a child or a divorce.  It can happen to anyone at any time for any reason.  For me, it comes most often with seasonal changes that impact my emotions.  For you it might be the result of a bad choice with your words or regrets in your parenting. 

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; 

Wait, I say, on the LORD!  Psalm 27:13,14

Whatever the reason for your heart sickness, there is but one cure.  Only One can strengthen your heart and give the courage needed to push through or wait it out.  Faith in the Lord and His goodness, regardless of your circumstances or feelings, can give the hope and the courage you need.  

One thing I have desired of the LORD,That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:4,5

In the presence of the Lord you can find refuge and that secret place in which you long to hide away.  While in His presence you will be nurtured, refreshed, and restored!  Seek Him each day and when the dark, heart sick times come there will be shelter and encouragement in His secret place.  His Word will be hidden within your heart, reminding you of the truth you may not feel in the midst of pain, hurt, loss or depression.  

Regardless of our feelings or circumstances, the Lord's Word and His character never change; they are always faithful and true.  Do not lose heart - believe that you will see the goodness of God!  Wait on Him, have courage, allow Him to strengthen your heart.

Prayer:

Lord, You are constant, never wavering in Your faithfulness.  Please help me to cling to You when it seems I am sliding in a downward spiral of confusion, pain, fear, etc.  You promise to strengthen my heart.  Let me rest in You and be a testimony of Your joy in every circumstance.  Amen.

Challenge:

Copy Psalm 13 and commit it to memory.  When you feel the darkness closing in, pray the beautiful words and allow His peace to fill you.

Suggested reading for those dealing with depression: http://pmcrawford.blogspot.com/2012/01/quiet-time-reflections_09.html?spref=fb

Jen G. 2012

Feelings, wo-wo-wo-feelings...

Do you ever get your feelings hurt?  I do.  I can get my feelings hurt just by walking into a messy room.  Somehow the stuff lying around translates in my brain to, “We do not give a hoot about how hard you work to keep our house nice and clean, Hazel.  Um, I mean…Mom.” 

Have you ever felt wounded at dinner time when someone at the table did not seem quite gleeful over the cheesy broccoli and liver casserole you made? How about the time when your husband forgot to bring flowers home on the anniversary of the day you bought your first couch; or last week when that person from church ignored you in Wal-mart. (Too bad that she didn’t even see you.  She should have felt your presence and sought you out.)

Whatever it is, we can get our pantaloons all in a bunch over some pretty silly things.  Our irrational reactions make us miserable and give us a reputation as someone who is easily offended and must be handled with kid gloves or dropped like a hot potato.

A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. Proverbs 18:19

We do need to remember, though, that feelings are not bad things; after all, God has feelings and we are created in His image. But…because we are not God (no matter how hard we try to be at times) we do not always use our emotions correctly.  The Lord sees the whole picture, all the facts.  We tend to use our feelings as facts.  We feel a certain way, therefore, it must be true.

Like a thermometer, feelings can give us some idea of our emotional temperature.  We can feel our blood start to boil or our heart start to feel cold towards someone based on their words or actions. Those same feelings, however, should not be used as our thermostat.  Once we feel our emotional temperature responding to a situation, we need to turn to the one true source that can regulate our response – God’s Word.

The Word of God is an endless resource of correct responses that glorify Him, and....it is always true.  Hope in His Word and allow it to set your thermostat and keep you from being a Feelings Diva.   When you do that people won’t run when they see you coming, they will be happy to welcome you.

Those who fear You will be glad when they see me, because I have hoped in Your Word.  Psalm 119:74

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for giving us emotions to enjoy.  Please give me the wisdom to set my emotional thermostat by Your Word.  Amen.

Challenge:

Take time to read through Proverbs, making note of all the verses that address how to respond in a godly way to various circumstances and people. Afterwards, flip over to Psalm 119 and see how the Word of God should be the thermostat for all areas of life.

 Jen G. 2012

Smells Like...Holy Spirit

When I am in the library reading magazines and I come across one of those fragrance strips that appeals to me…I look around all secretive-like and then brush my wrist across the paper.  I want to carry that fragrance with me, making others think, “Wow, she smells good!  Where can I get some of that?" Wouldn’t they be surprised to know?  Of course, there are other fragrances that I would be more likely to call an ‘odor’.  Those do not get rubbed on my skin.

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things? 2 Corinthians 2: 14-16

In 2 Corinthians 2:14-16, Paul draws a comparison between Christ’s followers and long ago war heroes.  When a victorious leader would return to his home city, a parade of triumph would be held in his honor.  The parade was made up of fearless warriors and important people of the city, as well as prisoners of war.  The incense that was burned during this merriment smelled sweet to those celebrating the victory.  To the prisoners it was anything but sweet.  For them, the incense was a reminder of their lasting captivity or impending death.

To those who are believers, or who are responding the Gospel, the fragrance of Christ is the sweet aroma of life.  To those who reject Christ, it is the odor of death; a reminder of the vacant place within their souls that can only be filled by the very One they refuse to follow.  

Do you want to be a diffuser of Christ’s fragrance every where you go?  Within your own strength that is impossible.  It is only with Christ in you, the hope of glory, that He can be seen (and smelled) by others.  Draw near to Him, walk closely behind Him in the shadow of His wings, let His hand rest upon you every hour of the day (Psalm 63:7-8). Then, and only then, will others find the fragrance of Christ around you.  Make them want to rub it on their wrists.

Prayer: 

Father, thank you for allowing me to be a diffuser of Your fragrance to those around me.  When others respond in a negative way, please give me the grace and strength to respond as Jesus did while on earth.  Amen.: 

Challenge: 

Consider making your 2012 spiritual goal one of being a great smelling believer.  Find a partner and encourage one another to be like Jesus in every area of life.

Jen G. 2012