Take Two: Gracious Lies

Our state's homeschool convention season is upon my family.  I pray you are blessed by the guest writers and frequent Take Two re-posts over the next month.  This post was originally shared in 2010.


Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

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Speaking graciously is something that is very important to me. The importance I place on graciousness is most likely due to my own lack of it as a child and teen. If you were being a jerk I was happy to tell you in so many words. None of those words, of course, improved the situation. Hence, my journey to becoming a woman of gracious words.
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Being gracious is a good thing, but there are times it can become a tricky trap. Proverbs 26:24-26 says, “He who hates, disguises it with his lips, and lays up deceit within himself; when he speaks kindly, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.” In other words, there is such a thing as a gracious liar.
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I am sad to say that I have fallen into this trap. There have been times when someone exploded all over me in anger or hurt. Sometimes I just happened to be there at the ‘right time’, but in other cases I was the cause. Gracious words poured from my mouth making me sound like a second cousin to Gabriel, all while my heart was full of anything but love towards the exploding person. Translation: My words were gracious. My heart was not.
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When a person detonates, should I launch my own attack, telling the truth and leaving no question of my feelings? No! First, I should guard my mouth, carefully weighing the words I am about to speak. (Proverbs 21:23) The next step is to quickly pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23,24) The final step is speaking the truth in love to promote unity in the Body (Ephesians 4).
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To quote the housekeeper from Meet Me in St. Louis, “A lie is a lie. Dressin’ it in white won’t help it.” Being gracious without being truthful might look good on the outside, but on the inside it is ugly. The Lord desires truth to be in me (Psalm 51:6), in turn spilling out of me to others. Gracious words without loving truth backing them up are simply gracious lies.
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Prayer:
Father, help me to be a gracious woman inside and out. Help me to be truthful in love, speaking life into those I encounter. Amen
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Challenge:
Examine your heart. Are you a gracious liar? Do you hold back truth because you are afraid of the possible reaction? Maybe you have the opposite problem of speaking the truth in all circumstances with the effect of a piercing sword. Meditate on these verses and ask the Lord to make you a gracious woman of truth. Proverbs 11:16, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 13:3, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 18:24, Proverbs 19:22, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 13.

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Jen G. 2010

Waste Not, Want Not

Yesterday, our church had several baptisms.  One of the girls being baptized had been adopted into a lovely Christian home as a baby, but her health issues and biological parentage were something that could potentially be a discouragement to her. As my father was about to dunk this beautiful girl, he reminded her that nothing is wasted. 

Nothing is wasted.

It is super easy to say “I love Jesus!  He is so good to me!” when life is hunky-dory. But sometimes.  Sometimes life is just not okay.  It hurts and is confusing and seems unfair. Everyone faces situations that bring feelings of helplessness, discouragement, or anger. Scripture is full of men and women who faced these same emotions.  As in your life, sometimes the experiences that brought those feelings and questions were the result of the person’s own sin.

Jonah had to travel where he did not wish to go, but God used it to show him his stinky heart attitude. 

Paul had something that pained him physically, but the weakness in his body caused him to rely on the Lord in a deeper way than his own strength would allow.

Mary had to watch her son die a horrible death.  That loss brought about the salvation of the world.

You might not always understand why the Lord is allowing something to happen; it is even harder to understand when the trial is not a result of your own poor choices (struggling with debt, dealing with a divorce caused by your unfaithfulness, etc.).  You can be assured, however, that if your heart is turned towards the Lord, He will use that circumstance in your life for good.

We all have a choice when bad things (or consequences) happen.  Curse God or praise God.  Which will it be?  Cursing Him - complaining, fighting against the situation, having a nasty attitude, bitterness – might feel good for the moment, but it will not bring blessing. Praising Him – choosing to acknowledge His faithfulness and goodness, honoring Him with our words and actions and attitudes - will bring His peace and joy.

Think of the words of Job.  “Though He slay me, yet I will praise Him!”  What an example to follow!  What will you choose to do today in your hard situation?  Don’t waste the opportunities you have to praise God in every circumstance and you will never want for His peace and joy in your heart and countenance.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Prayer:

Father, let my life reflect Your goodness.  Even when I am suffering consequences for sinful actions or poor choices, You are still with me and teaching me about who You are.  When I am suffering as a result of the sin of others, You promise to be my Defender.  When I am suffering due to original sin in the world, You say that you are my Healer and my Comforter.  Let me praise You in the midst of any storm so that Your name is glorified.  Amen.

Challenge:

What is happening in your life that makes you cry out, “Lord!  What are you doing?” or “WHY!?!”  First off, check your life for unrepentant sin.  If there is something there that needs to be dealt with, take care of it immediately!  That will not necessarily remove the consequence, but it will allow you to face it with grace and with the Lord’s help.  If your situation is a result of someone else’s actions, address the issue with them and give them opportunity to ask forgiveness and make things right.  If they choose not to, you must choose to walk in forgiveness and not become bitter.  If your trial is illness or loss due to a fallen world, allow the Lord to make His strength perfect in your weakness.

Jen G. 2012

God said "Yes!"

by Jen G. 2011

I have recently been faced with a potential trial. So far it is simply an inconvenience, but it could very well turn into an ‘event’. Not surprisingly, my planned Bible reading took me to the book of Job this week.

Job “was blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil.” (v. 1) He was wealthy, had a great family, lots of stuff to make his life comfortable, and was intensely committed to the Lord. He even made regular sacrifices for his children just in case they sinned against God. His took his job as a father and priest of his home very seriously.

One day while Satan was in the presence of the Lord, the Father asked him what he had been up to. Satan responded that he had been going back and forth over the earth. I think it worth noting that Satan does not mention that he has been wreaking havoc or looking for someone to torment (although he probably was!). It was the Lord Himself who pointed Job out to Satan.

Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?” v. 8

Satan’s ears perk up and he begins to mock Job and God. “Does Job fear God for nothing? Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!” (vs. 9-11) Satan basically dares God to test Job’s faithfulness and love for his Creator. And then…

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God said yes.

From this point on in the book, Satan is given permission first to strike Job’s family and possessions and then his personal health. And in all of this, Job never forsakes the knowledge that the Lord is sovereign. In fact, towards the end of the book, Job goes so far as to say, “Though He slay me, yet I will praise Him!” He is committed to the truth that the Lord holds all in His hands; that anything that touched him first passed through the righteousness and goodness of the Father, regardless of what it felt like.

Of the friends who came to minister to Job, only one seemed to hit the nail on the head. Elihu reminds Job of the omnipotence and goodness of God.

“Surely God will never do wickedly, nor will the Almighty pervert justice.” (34:12)

Whatever is being permitted to enter your life as a believer in Christ - medical problems, a wayward child, financial trouble, a tense marriage, sleepless nights, children with learning issues, fractured relationships, job loss, depression - take the counsel of Job to heart. “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (2:10) The trials we face give opportunity to grow closer to Christ and to become more like Him.*

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:2-8

Instead of falling apart – the normal human reaction – count it all joy that the perfectly-good-in-all-His-ways, sovereign God said “Yes!”

Prayer:

Father, I ask that You position my heart to receive what You are allowing in my life. Let my reactions to trials be a testimony of Your goodness. Let the trials refine me to be more like You. Amen.

Challenge:

Read the book of Job this month and ponder the reactions of Job and his friends in light of the trials Job was experiencing. Journal through your reading and make note of the passages that speak to you. How are YOU reacting to trials? We have a responsibility to let patience learned in trials to have its perfect work and to not be double minded.

*Note: Trials, whatever they are, are used to refine us and make us more like Christ. Sometimes those trials do come as a result of sinful actions on our part. Repenting of sin that has brought consequences in the form of trials will not necessarily remove the trial, but it will make you more like Christ if you push through and refuse to enter into that sinful behavior again. Nothing is beyond use for God’s glory when given to Him!

Jen G. 2011



Being Set Free

by Zinnada H. 2011

For the past month or so, I've been blessed by a bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free. When I started the study, the Lord made it clear what He wanted to set me from and that was from the bondage of turning to sweets as an idol.
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Whenever I was stressed, discouraged, or whatever, I would turn to sweets to release. I would literally rush the kids to bed or nap time just so that I could eat come ice cream or whatever was in the house at that time. But, after doing that study and seeing how much I was allowing sweets to take the place of yielding to God and His Spirit, I was convicted to change. So, since giving up sweets, I've been able to loose 10 pounds and that ALL due to the glory of God!

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Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Mark 8:34

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But, the journey has just begun because I've got so much to learn as it relates to eating healthier foods since I didn't grow up eating healthy. But, it's been a good journey. I'm thankful for how the Lord helps me to rise early to exercise, drink water, and study His word. Seeing all of these things happening, is such an encouragement to my spiritual walk because it reminds me that I'm denying myself of my old pleasures of sweets in order to be faithful in my calling as His disciple.

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Prayer:

Dear Lord, Thank You for how You have changed my desire of sweets by showing me how much You and Your word is so much sweeter. Please help me to continue to enjoy being with You and Your word, In Jesus name, Amen.

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Challenge:

What about you? Are there things in your life that you seem to turn to when you find yourself stressed, discouraged, or something else? Seek the Lord on the matter and then repent from turning to other idol(s).

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by Zinnada H. 2011

Abundant Simplicity

by Sarah S. 2011

A young woman in our church sat across the table from me. They (being military) had just moved back to town after 1 ½ years training in another state. She had already been feeling the pull of others’ plans and ideas of what she should be involved with. “I just feel like God is reminding me to keep it simple.”
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Isn’t that truly a challenge in this day and age of two working parents, overactive schedules, Facebook, television, computer and….noise?

Where do we begin? First and foremost our number ONE priority is Jesus. This is where the heart of simplicity starts. How can we properly focus or make decisions until we have plugged in to our very lifeline? Our job is to pray and spend time in His Word. HIS job is to change us and use us. Let Him guide what we are involved in. But how do we hear if we don’t stop and spend time with Him? It sounds too simple, right?

I wish it was a given fact that believers already did this,but I hear all the time about a LACK of time to spend with God. This I do know: what is important to us is where our time will be spent. Be honest with yourself---do you have time to be on the computer? Facebook? Did you enjoy your favorite show last night? Then there WAS a spare moment.

Simplicity starts with time alone with Jesus. God longs to be with us. He promises wisdom when we seek Him. If you are feeling overwhelmed consider time with the Lord to re-focus and ask for His desires for your schedule and priorities.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  James 1:5

Prayer:
Father, thank you that you love me so much and you long to be with me. Please, this day, guide where I spend my time and what I do. I long for wisdom from YOU for each day.
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Challenge:
If you are feeling overwhelmed and unplugged, honestly search your heart to see where you are spending your time. Consider getting back to the basics and making time with the Lord your first priority.

Sarah S. 2011

Ezer

This week I am honored to share another beautiful writing from my friend Adrienne of Provision Farm.  Adrienne is able to take every part of life on a farm and find the deep spiritual lesson.  May we all be as observant in the place the Lord has called us.

How can I not write about my dog, Asher? Asher is a border collie, and he helps me move the livestock every day. Before I had him, I would run around like a fool, yelling and waving my arms trying to round up the sheep. They didn't take me very seriously. I didn't take me very seriously.

Asher does so much more than help me move the stock. Asher is a good friend. Ask anyone who has visited my home and they will tell you that he greets you with a hug. He will wrap his arms around your leg and squeeze. He is extremely obedient and will always go out of his way to obey. He not only answers to me, but to anyone. He responds even to my children as an authority. If you tell him to lay down, he will drop to the ground immediately with no hesitation. His desire is to please...always. I have even had friends bring their dogs to my home, and Asher keeps them in line and will not let them disobey their owner or chase chickens or whatever else naughty a dog may do.

When we need a job with the stock done, the first question is: "Where's Asher? I need him." He brings order to the barnyard and he carries authority. The very sight of him makes the sheep bolt into the barn, so I actually cannot have him out during feeding time or the sheep would never get fed. With all he does, though, he doesn't assume his own authority; but he submits to me.

The word "ezer" accurately describes Asher in my life. Ezer is the Hebrew word for "help".

One of the first uses of it in Scripture is when Adam meets Eve and she is called his "ezer kenegdo" (help-meet). This is found in Genesis 2:18. God says that it is not good for man to be alone. Man alone is a lot like the picture of me trying to round up the sheep without Asher. What I'm speaking of is that woman was created to help man do his job. Ladies, remember to submit to your husband and have a heart for pleasing him. If you are not married, do it for your father. If you are single, do it for God who is your heavenly Father and your Bridegroom. Be His ezer kenegdo...it's who you were created to be, and anything apart from that will leave you feeling incomplete because you are truly being delinquent against the very fiber of your being.

Help can also take on the form of something much stronger than something that comes alongside you that aids you in your tasks. The word "ezer" is used again in Psalm 121--

"If I raise my eyes to the hills, from where will my help come? My help comes from Adonai, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--your guardian is not asleep. No, the guardian of Israel never slumbers or sleeps. Adonai is your guardian; at your right hand Adonai provides you with shade--the sun can't strike you during the day or even the moon at night. Adonai will guard you against all harm; he will guard your life. Adonai will guard your coming and going from now on and forever."

Come again? "...at your right hand?" That sounds like God is our helper! Not only do we come alongside God to carry out His will, He comes alongside us to aid us in what He's called us to do. What a beautiful design the Lord laid out for our relationship with Him! My dear Asher is much like this picture of "helping guardian", as nothing happens on my land that Asher is not aware of first. He alerts me so that I can be watchful. He makes me a better ruler over this land the Lord gave me.

Ezer. What a beautiful word.

"Two are better than one, in that their cooperative efforts yield this advantage: if one of them falls, the other will help his partner up--woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no one to help him up." -Ecclesiastes 4:9&10

Prayer:

Father, You are my All in all.  You are the One who gives me the opportunity to be a part in Your perfect will and plan.  Please help me to be mindful of what You would have me do and say each and every day.  Help me to remember that You are my Helper in time of need.  Amen

Challenge:

Are you walking fully in your calling as a woman?  That might be as a daughter or a wife.  It might be as a single woman on your own.  Embrace the place the Lord has you now, and look for ways to be His ezer kenegdo.

Adrienne 2010

Time Enough at Last

[title credit to the Twilight Zone episode of the same name.]
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I'm reading the book The Gift of a Year by Mira Kirshenbaum. She says something early in the book that seemed quite profound to me: "Time isn't our enemy. It's our home."
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God has seen fit to set our lives in Time. It looked pretty simple at the beginning: "And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and for years." Genesis 1:14
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In our twenty-first century world, Time can seem like an enemy. We scramble through our days, trying to get our tasks done before they bury us. We think it's bad when our children are little--too little sleep, too many "drudge-y" tasks. Every day looks the same: wake-up (change diapers), breakfast, lunch, naptime, supper, bedtime. Whew, made it through another day.
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When my children were little, my dear mother and mother-in-love both told me something that, though I "believed" true (because they said so), I could not possibly apprehend. "This is the easiest time you'll have while raising children." Those of you out of the infant/toddler/preschool age know what that means.
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Besides the unending running here and there of school-age children, there is the Worry Factor. We can expend a lot of time worrying, right? My mother-in-love Queen Darl says, "raising children is easier when they are all at home, tucked in bed at night."
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Add to the problem Technology. When I was growing up in the '60's, they spoke of the 21st century as a time when technology would make life so easy, people would be working 20-hour weeks, and our biggest problem would be figuring out what to do with all our free time.
Still waiting for that one.
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The more technology, the more time taken up. (and more $$$, too!) Cellphones are wonderful. We can reach and be reached if needed. Queen Darl thinks I'm nuts to have one: "I used to love to get in the car and do the weekly shopping. No one could reach me for two hours!" Not so today, right?
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"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 Don't believe the lie that you can not do all that God called you to do. Do not believe the lie that you are too busy to do those things well. I have good news for you: God has given you enough time to do everything He wants you to do. Including getting enough sleep. Enough time for you and your husband. Even some time for you.
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Prayer:
Lord, help me to see that Time is not my enemy, but a place in which You have chosen to have me live my earthly life. Help me to begin to see areas that I am wasting the time You have given me, or using it carelessly. Help me to begin to live deliberately.
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Challenge: Meditate on the thought that God has given you enough time to do everything He wants you to do. Set aside a little "time" this week to begin to see some of the time-wasters in your life.

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Barb K 2010

Are You a Lemon?

We had a car once that needed to have constant repair service. If it was not one thing, it was another. Parts were always breaking and needing to be replaced or treated in some way. It was expensive; it was high maintenance. It was expensive and frustrating to own such a car! Most of us call those kinds of cars lemons.

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I have found that people are very similar in a way. So the question is: are YOU a high or low maintenance kind of person? That is a pretty scary question isn’t it? None of us want to admit that we might be a high maintenance person. How do we know what a high maintenance person looks like? Here are some clues:

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• they are focused on their “feelings or emotions” (what others say to them, how they say it to them)
• they need constant verbal praise to carry on whatever task they are doing
• they are often “wounded” by others
• offended easily
• always need to “talk” about something that is bothering them
• pout to get attention and are angry if they do not get the attention

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In other words, high maintenance people are roller coaster personalities and emotionally exhausting to relate with because they require so much attention. I think you get the picture.

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Does this describe you? If it does, don’t despair! The word of God gives us some very practical solutions to help us change. In Colossians 3: 1–5 we are told to set our minds on things above and not on the things on the earth. We are told to consider the members of our earthly bodies as dead. Skip down to verses 8–17 and we see what we are to put off and what to put on. I think the key here is to practice the "put ons" starting in verse 12. These "put ons" are a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other…..just as the Lord forgave you. Verse 14 tells us to put on love.

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If we would apply these few verses our lives would begin to be transformed. Not only do they help those us who may be high maintenance ourselves to overcome, but it will help those of us who have to deal with high maintenance people treat them with love and kindness. God is amazing isn’t He?
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Prayer: Lord, the last thing I want is for others to feel like I am a high maintenance person. Please help me to overcome and to grow up into Christ in all things. Help me as I practice the put offs and put ons listed in Colossians. 3. Teach me to set my mind on things above and to make Jesus Christ Lord of my life in all ways. Thank you.

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Challenge: Begin to take notice of how you relate to others and ask the Lord to open your eyes to your status of maintenance requirements.
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Sherry 2010

There's a Cow in the Road

Last week as my husband prepared to leave for work, our six year old admonished him to watch out for cattle. We live in a small town and my husband drives through an industrial parkway on his four minute drive to work. A cow in the road on the way to his office would be highly unexpected – something we are pretty sure he will never encounter. ‘Watch out for deer’ is a much more useful reminder as my darling sees those almost daily, even in town. We laughed about it, but as usual it came back to my mind later attached to all sorts of interesting spiritual implications. Do let me share!
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Because experience has taught us that deer are out there and that there are more of them at certain times of the day and year, most of us are watchful while driving. We expect the deer. With this in mind, let’s think of the ‘deer’ as expected sins that we encounter on our spiritual road. Anger towards our children, selfishness, gossip, and laziness are on the short list of expected sins that distract us from the path in front of us. Others might be the lack of self control with food or being impatient. We all deal with these expected sins, usually recognizing when we are being tempted and hopefully working to avoid them.
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Cows, on the other hand, are the sins we are not really watching for. We are not expecting to be tempted to have an extramarital affair or start drinking to get through a day of homeschooling. Most of us would say that those things would never happen to us. We might think we would never be as offended with a person as to hate them, or have built up our character in our minds to a level that we think we are immune to struggling with jealousy, extreme excess, or a snarky attitude.
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I have hit some cows in my lifetime. There I was driving down my spiritual road, comfortable in my polished Christian car, when WHAM! a large Jersey bovine jumped out from nowhere. Because I was not actively watching for anything more than the expected deer I was completely surprised by the cow.
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Psalm 119:104-105 says, “Through Your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” The Word of God is our light. When we are faithfully studying and meditating on the Scriptures we have the light we need to see the expected and the unexpected. His Word gives us wisdom and guidance to make it safely past any animal in our spiritual road.
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Prayer:
Father, thank You for Your faithful, ever bright Word that guides and directs me. Please help me to be watchful for all the tactics and ploys of the enemy. Thank You for victory when I walk in Your ways. Amen
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Challenge:
Identify some potential cows in your life. Do you struggle with online gossip or nastiness when you are signed in as a faceless person? Maybe you have become too fond of over the counter pain killers with added sleep aids or struggle with lustful thoughts when watching certain television programs. Be mindful of the things that are unexpected. A fun book to read is There’s a Cow in the Road by Reeve Lindbergh. This secular children’s book is a silly rhyme about a bunch of out of place farm animals that start congregating in the middle of the road. Although unintended by the author of the book, the story reminds me that where there is one unexpected sin, other unexpected sins are waiting to join in if the issue is not dealt with.
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Jen 2010

Disciplining With A Humble Hand

Fresh Starts is pleased to bring a devotional from a new contributor. Zinnada shares what the Lord is doing in her life at her lovely blog, Three Princesses and a Prince.

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Yesterday was a hard day. The morning began without any electricity due to a storm that past through our area during the night. We were left without any electricity until later that morning. So, I must admit, I was a bit discouraged about that. Not having electricity revealed how much I rely on electricity to get me through the day rather than trusting in the Lord.
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When the electricity finally came on, I was able to turn on the computer. Since we’re taking a school break, I allow the kids to watch their DVD’s and their cartoons. We don’t have cable, but they are still able to view the Disney & Nick, Jr. cartoons through the internet. So, I was trying to turn on one of their favorite Disney cartoons and wanted them to sit quietly as I proceeded to turn it on. Well, as you may know, that was an unrealistic request.
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Just as they were sitting there, one of my dear daughters decided to SLUG her sister! “What?” were my thoughts. When I asked her why, she said that she was playing with her. My husband and I have been telling them NOT to play fight. So, since I was already frustrated with the computer not allowing me to pull up a Disney cartoon, having to deal with that act wasn’t any better.
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So, I asked the dear child to give me her hand. Well, this particular one DOESN’T make her “loving” easy for us. So, having to deal with the matter became harder than it needed to be. After it was over, I felt so tired and discouraged. It affected me throughout the rest of the day. I kept thinking and wondering, “Why does it have to be so HARD?” I kept bringing that before the Lord and had planned to talk about it with my hubby later that night.
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Well, we both had a busy night and weren’t able to talk until the following morning. He suggested that for now since I’m pregnant, it’s best to let him deal with the “loving” when he gets home. I confess, a sense of PRIDE came over me. It’s a little hard to think that I have to wait for a particular child to be “loved” on. But, it’s just for this time.
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During my time in the word, I felt the Spirit lead me to Proverb 13:24. That passage of scripture challenged me to really think of my MOTIVES for “loving”. Am I doing it because MY “law” has been broken? Am I doing it because of my pride? Basically, I need to stop and question…WHY?
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I have to admit, stopping to examine my motives is VERY humbling. Ephesians 6:4 really caused me to REALLY desire to be careful with what and how I’m “loving” the kids. I’ve always looked at that verse being basically for the fathers and it does, but it’s also used for parents in general, which can include Mommy too.
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As I was reading my notes (I use the John MacArthur’s Study Bible), I was humbled by what I read. I began to question if whenever I’m “loving” the kids, is my desire and purpose is to draw them to the Father or to simply obey ME and to NEVER disobey ME again.
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Basically am I setting myself up as the “god” to obey or am I ushering them towards obedience to the God of the bible? I was reminded that based on John 1:13, it’s the Lord who gives the right to become children of God, not Mommy’s “loving”.
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So, what am I saying? I’m not in ANY way saying not to “love” on our kids. Scripture CLEARLY exhorts us to do that. What I am saying is that whenever your child needs some “loving”. Hold that “loving tool” in your hand and recognize your need for His help to be self-controlled and gospel centered at that time and then SWIFTLY be ready for reconciliation. Knowing that your child is not going to change his or her behavior based on your actions, but only by the grace of God through His choosing to save their souls. Let us “love” on our children with a humble hand praying that through our obedience in dealing with the situation that God would one day choose our child to be in the kingdom.
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Prayer:
Dear Lord, thank You for showing me my sin of pride whenever I’m “loving” our children. Please continue to humble me at that very moment in order for that child to see his or her sin and need to trust in You for salvation one day. In Jesus name, Amen.

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Challenge:

When you are faced with disciplining your child this week be sure to stop and consider what was shared this week. Ask yourself the question, "Am I upset because my child caused me to be inconvenienced or am I upset because my child's heart is not in line with the Lord?" Then be sure to stop and pray, relying 100% on the Lord's grace and wisdom to get you through the time of "loving".

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Zinnada Hodges 2009
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Other references:
Titus 3:5; Hebrews 12:5-11; John 1:13; Ephesians 6:4