I'm So Blue-hoo-hoo, Blue-hoo-hoo...

Up until our last baby’s birth in 2003, I had pretty uneventful pregnancies and recovery times. All that changed in the months following our sweet baby girl’s arrival. My husband and mom had been trying to get me to acknowledge the severe baby blues I was experiencing, but I was trying to be tough. As tough as you can be under the covers in three day old pajamas while your nine year old feeds the other three mobile children. Baby Rilla’s pediatrician and nurses also picked up on what I had been hiding from most people and addressed it with me. I was suffering from post partum depression. Dr. Ann gave me permission (I somehow felt I needed it) to seek medical care for this very real medical condition. She also mailed me a beautiful book of Scripture and a letter urging me to continue reading the Word and praying while I was being treated with medication.
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Six years later I still struggle, primarily during the cold, dark winters of Northeast Ohio. This winter has been better than last, but it has still been a struggle. I would like to share some things that I do to help lighten the heavy load of depression.
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One thing that I tend to shy away from when I am feeling depressed, is my personal blog. My friends can all tell you that when more than three days go by without a post, something must certainly be wrong. So, I make myself blog almost daily about my “shade of blue”, trying to remain open and transparent. Being honest and humble about it helps me to remember my human frailty. When I am conscious of my weakness I am even more aware of the Lord’s strength. It is only through Him and His promises that I am able to push through and do the next thing.
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“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10
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During my blue times I also work to adjust my schedule so that I am not weighed down with outings and commitments. I stick close to home and focus on the Lord and family. Psalm 37:7a says, “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…” The Psalmist encourages us again, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 27:14) I use my ‘down time’ to look up and draw closer to the Father. Being too busy is also a trigger for me, so walking out this part of the plan is not difficult for me!
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While I am hunkering down and drawing near to the Lord, I must keep in mind that it is not okay to stay home and keep my shades drawn and the phone off the hook. As much as I strongly dislike interaction with others during these times, I NEED that interaction. My family and friends encourage me and pray for me. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is a favorite reminder to me.
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Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
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Finding a way to serve others helps to keep my focus outward and not inward. I might bake for a friend or send a card to someone I know is suffering far more than I am. My act of service might not be as time consuming or big as when I am feeling healthy, but it is still an opportunity for me to honor and prefer others.
*Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
*As I write this devotional, I am in the midst of a blue time. I am not quite to the Madame Blueberry level, but I came pretty close a couple of time this past week. I write from the self-preaching I have been doing in my own life. My prayer is that it encourages you in your own time of difficulty and struggle.
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Prayer:
Father God, thank You that You are the God of all hope and comfort, peace and joy. My changing feelings do not change the truth of who You are! Thank You for the promises in Your Word to encourage me to look up. Amen
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Challenge:
I encourage you to be open and transparent about your struggles with depression. Be smart, however. Choose a friend that you know will direct you to the Word and will keep you in prayer as you consider medical intervention. Be sensitive about who you ask. Try not to pick someone who is in the midst of their own battle. You certainly do not want to overwhelm them even more! You could, however, remember to pray for them faithfully as an act of service.
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Please do not feel as if you are somehow not a good Christian if you can not get over the hump of depression. Pray Psalm 139:23 and 24, allowing the Lord to search your heart for any sin that needs to be dealt with. If the Holy Spirit does not show you anything, make an appointment with your doctor for a check up. Many forms of depression are medical or weather/light related in nature. And remember, just because you might need a little pill for now does not necessarily mean you will need it forever.
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Jen 2010

Whatta Face!

Growing up I am sure I gave my parents many “oh-my-goodness” moments in regards to my mouth. Just ask my mom about my experience with a rather large preschool Sunday School teacher…. Once I got a pretty good handle on my mouth, Mom started working with me on my facial expressions. Sometimes my face did more damage than my mouth. (Yeah, I know how that sounds!)
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Some people say that the eyes are the window to the soul. If that is the case, then I believe that the face is the curtain on that window. With your face you convey happiness, sadness, anger, irritation, shock, joy, humor, and a myriad of other emotions. Sometimes you suggest an emotion that you are not even feeling. I am certain that not all the scowling people I see at Wal-Mart are bitter, angry people. The same goes for the grocery store, McDonalds, and even church.
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A man’s wisdom makes his face shine, and the sternness of his face is changed. Ecclesiastes 8:1b

What does your face communicate to others? If you think that guarding your facial expressions is a pointless waste of time and that people like me simply need to get a real life and stop face watching, I would say that I think you are not putting enough thought into the matter. Think of all the unsaved, hurting people that you work with or live next door to. Do they see a face that shines from a wisdom that comes from knowing Jesus or a grimace that shows discontent with life? Maybe your church family sees an irritated look that speaks volumes of your thoughts about your husband, children, friend, or pastor. What do your children see when they interrupt you? Your husband when he approaches you intimately?
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I am by no means saying that we should not allow sad or angry emotions to show on our faces. After all, God created the ability for us to express our feelings in our faces. That is how we get many social cues. I am encouraging you to be mindful of whether the look on your face is actually expressing what is in your heart. If someone looked at you while you were going about your day, would they see the peace that the Lord has given you through salvation? Would they see joy and satisfaction?
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The face is the mirror of the heart. Take time today to see what you are reflecting.
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A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance. Proverbs 15:13
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Prayer:
Father, thank You for making me in Your image. Please help me to be aware of the look on my face and to remember that it is a reflection of You. Let me always be mindful of how I represent You. Amen.
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Challenge:
Keep track of your facial expressions this week. Ask a close friend, an older child, or your husband to help you ‘see’ what you look like in various situations. Discreetly watch strangers this week to get a good picture of what I have shared. Would you guess that someone had peace and joy by the look on their face or would you assume that they were mean and grouchy? Remember, our faces give others clues to who we are on the inside. If your face is not showing joy and peace, take time to find out why. Maybe there is something in your life that is keeping you from being able to shine.
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Need:
A Fresh Start reader from Ohio and her family lost their home to a devastating fire this month. If you would like to help the Snyders financially, you may do so by donating at any Huntington Bank branch.
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Jen 2010

Count the Cost

Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' Luke 14:28-30
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The New Year brings with it a desire to start over where we have failed or to turn away from a bad habit. Most of these resolutions or goals deal with weight on our bodies. How about dealing with the weight of debt in our personal lives?
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We are all aghast at the amount of money our government leaders spend and the huge debt they are accumulating for all of us in this country. Yes, even those of us who are debt free in our personal lives. We need to be very careful in our criticism, however, and honestly evaluate if we are doing the very same thing in our personal life. As Mathew 7:3 points out: And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
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What are we teaching our children by example? Is it to live within the means that God has provided for us? Or is it, “If you want it, charge it!”? Just as we are responsible for voting for our government leaders, we are also responsible for the message we are giving to our children regarding our finances.
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I understand most of us cannot save enough to buy a house, but we can save enough for a substantial down payment before we buy. This keeps our mortgage payments within our income. Maybe a good used car will suffice as well as a brand new one with all the bells and whistles. Especially one only driven to church and back by a little old granny like me!
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If there is a will not to be greedy, God will provide a way for us to have what we need at a price we can afford. This is a blessing I experience every time I shop for something I need. There is such freedom in being debt free and that freedom is priceless!
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Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8
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Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You that you have taught me, and are still teaching me, that as a believer in Your word You expect my complete obedience. I thank You for the many blessings you send my way each day, even when You show me the plank in my eye. Amen.
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Challenge:
I challenge you this year to get in on God’s Economy. Obviously the economy of our government has really gone astray. Let God be the Secretary of the Treasury! There maybe some of you whose husbands do not follow God’s financial guidelines. But, there are ways you can follow and put into practice some of God’s principles with the money you have to spend. Be a smart grocery shopper, a thrifty meal planner and cook. Avoid boxed or frozen prepared meals. Ask the Lord to show you how to stretch the dollars He has given you to oversee as manager of your home. Have a happy, debt free, blessed New Year!
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Granny Witt 2010
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Remember that you can save $5 off a copy of For Instructions in Righteousness from Doorposts through January 31. Use the coupon code “freshstarts” at checkout. If you take advantage of this offer, please consider leaving a comment and letting us know.

Clueless

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Proverbs 2: 10-11
When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul, Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you...
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This 2004 picture was taken because I wanted to remember what my daughter looked like right before I gave her away. I think the look on her face speaks volumes, so I will skip the details of the hours leading up to the photo shoot. Suffice it to say, I felt completely helpless and out of control. I ended up putting Liddy in her crib, shutting the door, and walking away from her furious screams. I think a video camera was involved at one point to document our suffering for my husband.
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As a mother of five children, six to fifteen years old, there is not a day that goes by that I do not feel clueless in some area of parenting. From questions about God to quarrels between siblings, there is a laundry list of things brought to my mommy lap, with the expectation of wisdom from my lips being dispensed. It scares me. Really, it does. After all of these years I think I should always have the answers immediately. And yet, I do not.
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Proverbs 2:3-5
Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.
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The book of Proverbs is my life line as a mom. To date, there has not been one situation that has arisen in our home that has not been addressed in this 31 chapter book. Even if King Solomon and the other wise contributors did not mention messy bedrooms, they did address laziness. They might not have talked about the latest top rated TV show, but they did speak on guarding one’s eyes. Proverbs targets the heart issues behind the behavior issues. It also directs us to search the commands and precepts of God’s entire Word to gain understanding.
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I am so thankful for God’s Word, an eternal source of wisdom. Daily I run to my Bible for guidance on a certain subject or area of parenting. Daily I am given the wisdom needed to handle the circumstances and questions before me. Do you feel clueless in your parenting, marriage, relationships? Cry out for wisdom and discernment as you open your Bible and search for the treasures God has for you there.
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Prayer:
Father, thank You for Your perfect wisdom. When I feel unqualified and incapable of making wise decisions remind me to call out to You. You are faithful to answer and give me the wisdom needed for each moment. Amen.
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Challenge:
Read the chapter in Proverbs that corresponds with each day. There are 31 chapters in all, enough to take you through an entire month. Watch how the Lord will give you circumstances to use the wisdom your have gained by reading His Word.

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I also highly recommend the book For Instructions in Righteousness from Doorposts. This topical guide is invaluable in every area of life from marriage to toddlers.
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Jen 2010