Gracious Lies

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

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Speaking graciously is something that is very important to me. The importance I place on graciousness is most likely due to my own lack of it as a child and teen. If you were being a jerk I was happy to tell you in so many words. None of those words, of course, improved the situation. Hence, my journey to becoming a woman of gracious words.
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Being gracious is a good thing, but there are times it can become a tricky trap. Proverbs 26:24-26 says, “He who hates, disguises it with his lips, and lays up deceit within himself; when he speaks kindly, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.” In other words, there is such a thing as a gracious liar.
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I am sad to say that I have fallen into this trap. There have been times when someone exploded all over me in anger or hurt. Sometimes I just happened to be there at the ‘right time’, but in other cases I was the cause. Gracious words poured from my mouth making me sound like a second cousin to Gabriel, all while my heart was full of anything but love towards the exploding person. Translation: My words were gracious. My heart was not.
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When a person detonates, should I launch my own attack, telling the truth and leaving no question of my feelings? No! First, I should guard my mouth, carefully weighing the words I am about to speak. (Proverbs 21:23) The next step is to quickly pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23,24) The final step is speaking the truth in love to promote unity in the Body (Ephesians 4).
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To quote the housekeeper from Meet Me in St. Louis, “A lie is a lie. Dressin’ it in white won’t help it.” Being gracious without being truthful might look good on the outside, but on the inside it is ugly. The Lord desires truth to be in me (Psalm 51:6), in turn spilling out of me to others. Gracious words without loving truth backing them up are simply gracious lies.
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Prayer:
Father, help me to be a gracious woman inside and out. Help me to be truthful in love, speaking life into those I encounter. Amen
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Challenge:
Examine your heart. Are you a gracious liar? Do you hold back truth because you are afraid of the possible reaction? Maybe you have the opposite problem of speaking the truth in all circumstances with the effect of a piercing sword. Meditate on these verses and ask the Lord to make you a gracious woman of truth. Proverbs 11:16, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 13:3, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 18:24, Proverbs 19:22, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 13.

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Jen 2010

Thorns and Sweetness

Some of God's most precious gifts come in packages that make our hands bleed when we open them."-Sheila Walsh
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Summertime in the country is a blessed time. It seems every other person's driveway has a vegetable stand outside or at least a sign for fresh eggs. About this time of year, the berries are ripening.
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This evening, we went to pick blackberries. We went to a local person's house who had a nondescript acre or two of uncleared brush with a few blackberry bushes hidden inside. Standing outside the huge wall of leaves, thorns, and saplings, one wouldn't likely suspect that there was anything worthwhile inside. However, I was told there were blackberries inside, so I delved in.
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Every berry literally had to be fought for. The blackberry branches were hopelessly intertwined with horrid thorn bushes along with the thorns that they themselves produced. I had branches clutching my clothing and snagging my hair. They raked across my skin and left me with the sensation that about 500 angry cats were biting and scratching me all at once. After battling this scenario for a sweaty, bloody 2 hours, I walked out of the thorn patch with about a quart and a half of blackberries.
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In the midst of my war with the thorns, the Lord spoke to me and said,"What are you thinking right now, daughter?" I impatiently pulled a thorn from my palm and said,"Well, Lord, I'm thinking that anything worth having is worth some trouble to get." Peace flooded me and God said,"Yes, daughter. A lot like you."
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"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among other women." - Song of Solomon 2:2 Though this verse is about a man loving a woman, Song of Solomon is in the Bible mostly because it's also a love letter from God to His beloved Bride, the Church(or at the time it was written, the people of Israel). The world is a nest of thorns, and he fought through the thorns around my heart to rescue what sweetness He could find. That sweetness was my hunger and thirst for truth and righteousness. I was that lily that drew His attention and affection. Hallelujah! My Lord found me and plucked me out from among those thorns.
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With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye, I recount of another set of thorns my Lord endured in order to rescue me: "They stripped off his clothes and put on him a scarlet robe, wove thorn-branches into a crown and put it on his head, and put a stick in his right hand. Then they kneeled down in front of him and made fun of him: 'Hail to the King of the Jews!' They spit on him and used the stick to beat him about the head. When they had finished ridiculing him, they took off the robe, put his own clothes back on him and led him away to be nailed to the execution stake." -Matthew 27:28-31
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All beautiful things are worth rescuing. All great things come at a cost. All sweetness can only be enjoyed when fought for. We are worth it in the eyes of God.
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Prayer:
Father God, thank you for rescuing me. Thank You for giving me value. You are worthy of my very life and I give it daily to You. Amen.
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Challenge:
Take the time this week to contemplate each day how much God loves you and how He showed that love on the cross.
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Adrienne 2010

Renewed by Him

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with responsibilities that I feel like my head is about to spin completely around like the chick from that awful movie I was not allowed to watch as a child. You know the feeling: panic when you suddenly realize your are so busy that you could not fit an emergency room visit into the schedule, frustration because you have forgotten to buy toilet paper three days in a row, guilt because your children have eaten more carbs in the last week than they have since they were on solids.

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There are times when I can cut things from my schedule and bring relief; other times that is simply not an option. When those times come I am especially thankful for passages such as Isaiah 40:29-31: "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

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These verses encourage me to hope in the Lord as the only One Who will renew my strength. Extra vitamins, more sleep, faster exercise or fewer appointments might take the edge off, but only He can renew me completely and give me the strength I need to soar, run and walk through the pressures and responsibilities of the moment.

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Prayer:

Father, thank You that You have given me the strength to walk through the responsibilities I have at this time. Please help me to handle the pressure with grace, never bringing reproach on Your name when I feel rushed or overwhelmed. Amen

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Challenge:

If you are at a place where you simply can not take something off of the schedule, then take care to view your commitments as divine appointments. Allow the Lord to show you what He is wanting you to learn under pressure. Are you needing more patience, more kindness, more flexibility? Listen and learn!

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Maybe you are in this place all the time. If so, these articles might be an encouragement to you: The Buffet, Do You Shed?. If you are resenting the responsibilities you have with your family, Time Enough at Last will help you gain perspective.

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Jen 2010

Living in a Glass House

I am a stay at home wife and homeschooling mother of five children. The only time I am not being observed or possibly eavesdropped on is when I am sleeping at night or in the shower. And even then I wonder… The option of dealing with my sin issues and bad habits in private is pretty much nonexistent. Whatever I am struggling with, there are five people who are tuned in for the show; no matter how hard I try to hide it and deal with it alone it never seems to work. My children can read me like a book and that is downright frustrating! Sometimes a gal just wants to be snarky without being called on the carpet by a six year old.

Instead of being frustrated, I must choose to be thankful for this glass house in which I live. So many people lack accountability and struggle in their sin without anyone intervening or pointing them in the right direction. How blessed I am to have loved ones daily turning me towards holiness. Of course, sometimes one of my children becomes wise in their own eyes and corrects me in arrogance. I then have the opportunity to teach them the proper way to confront another believer and set them on the path to godliness. It’s a win/win situation!

My transparency with my children teaches them four things: avoiding sin, choosing sin, repentance and forgiveness. At times I do a great job of avoiding sin, but there are many, many times when I choose to do the wrong thing and have to follow up with repentance and seeking forgiveness. No matter what, my children are learning valuable lessons: the joy of victory over sin or the hurt that sin brings and the freedom that repentance and forgiveness brings.

I will no longer look at my glass house as a frustration. Instead I will see it as a blessing that allows me to teach my children the ways of God.

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Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Prayer:
Father, thank You for my glass house. Thank You for daily opportunities to live for You in front of my children. Please help me to choose the holy path and avoid the pitfalls of sin. Let my children always feel comfortable to come to me in love when they see that I am struggling. Help me to receive their words and turn the situation into a life lesson that points them and me to You. Amen.

Challenge:
Do you feel as if you are always ‘on’, being watched and evaluated by your children or husband? Instead of feeling like that is unfair, embrace the opportunity to be more watchful of your sin areas. Become more aware of your example as a believer living with young believers or non-believers. Be thankful for the light shining in the dark corners of your life.

Jen 2010

Using God's ORDER to Bring Order in the Home

Have you ever felt like you were going around in circles with caring for the house? Does it seem like the more you do, the more you’re digging a deeper hole for yourself? Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling for a while. I consider myself to be pretty organized especially with having five little busy bees in our home. But it seemed as if I was no longer a woman who was organized!

I shared my frustration with my husband one morning. Then later on that day, he shared Proverbs 14:1 with me and it blessed me so much. It was truly a word given from the Lord. The verse reads:

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”

Whenever I looked at this verse before, I only paid attention to the latter part. But, this time, the Lord directed me to notice the first part: “the wise woman BUILDS her house.” The Lord used my husband to encourage me that I am daily building our house. But I just need to make sure I’m taking care of the most important things first, not other things that SEEM to be important and/or to need to be done.

So, I took what he said and the Lord gave me this to work with. He reminded me of His order of things. Here’s what I came up with:

God
Husband
Wife (me)
Children
Home
Community

When I first put this list together, I began to doubt putting myself before the kids. But the Lord affirmed me because He showed me that I NEED to make sure that I’m taken care of in order for me to better care for the kids. You’ll see what I mean when you see my examples.

Looking at this order helps me know the major things that I need to do daily in our home. And once those things are done, other things can fall in place. Here are some examples of major things based on my list:

God
- Worship
- Fellowship
- Studying the scriptures
- Evangelizing

Husband
- Sexual needs met
- Clothes ironed
- Lunch made
- Honey Do’s done

Wife (Myself)
- Bible study, meditating, memorizing, and applying the Word
- Exercising
- Eating healthy
- Resting and regrouping

Children
- Loving them
- Discipling them
- Meeting other basic needs

Home
- Daily house chores

Community
- Reaching out to my neighbors
- Calling, emailing, or sending encouraging letters to friends and family

Now that I’ve put this list together, it’s been really helpful. Even with this list, I still need to remember James 4:15 (paraphrased): “If the Lord wills.” So, as you’re trying to get things in order in your home, consider God’s order and then add your daily things based upon this list.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, please help us as women learn how to better care for our homes. Please give us the wisdom and daily strength to do this in accordance with Your Word. In Your name, Amen.

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Challenge:

Go out for cup of coffee with your husband and seek his guidance on ideas to get your priorities in order. Keep your heart set on hearing the wisdom that the Lord has given your husband for you, not taking his input as criticism. Begin to implement the ideas and take note of how the atmosphere of your home changes.

Zinnada H. 2010