The Forgotten Woman

I’m often amazed that whenever I read or hear messages about various women in the Bible, there is a special woman who isn’t mentioned. If you want to learn from a woman on prayer, you can look to Hannah. If you want to look to a woman on bravery and courage, you can look to Esther. If you want to look to a woman on leadership, you can look to Deborah. But, what if you wanted to look to a woman on sexuality? Who comes to mind? Does anyone? What about the Shulamite woman found in the Song of Solomon?
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Whenever I read this wonderful love story, I close my Bible excited and encouraged to strive to apply her lifestyle to my life and marriage. I think she’s the best example as to how to be a woman of purity and a woman of passion. I’d like for us to look at her character, to seek to desire some of it in our own lives, and to possibly teach it to our daughters and other young ladies. Let’s take a look:
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In the first three chapters, she displays a great example of how a woman/girl is to wait to be married to her husband. Throughout their courtship, she displayed much purity in her conduct (1:7-8) and praise towards Solomon (1:2-4). Then in the last chapters, she displays another great example of how a woman is to be wildly passionate towards her husband. Throughout the rest of the book, you can see how she expresses her attraction to Solomon and how she was ready and willing to give herself fully to him passionately and sexually in every way. As you read the entire chapter, you’ll see that the Shulamite woman was:
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A woman of compliments towards Solomon (1:2-4, 13-16): Remember how you were when you realized how much you were in love with your husband? Remember how you would talk about him a lot to your friends and family? When was the last time you took the time and looked at all of your husband’s features? Try it and see what happens.
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A woman of confidence in her beauty and her relationship to Solomon (1:5; 2:4, 6; 7:10): How often do you allow your flaws to keep you from being reminded of how the Lord has wonderfully made you? Even to the point where it can hinder you availing yourself to your husband? What have you allowed to prevent you from availing yourself to your spouse freely?
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A woman of chastity (1:7-8; 2:7; 3:5; 8:10): There was a certain appearance prostitutes had whenever they wore veils. She was determined not to wear her veil in such a way that would give anyone the impression that she was one of them. This was a character that the other women noticed. Even as an older woman, are you still aware of what and how you dress? Do you demonstrate a life of chastity in the eyes of other females?
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A woman of expressions (1:13-14; 2:3; 3:1): She was very expressive about her passions, desires, and love for Solomon. How often do you openly express how you feel to or about your spouse?

A woman of excitement (2:8): Whenever she saw or heard Solomon’s voice or knew of his coming, she was excited to see him. What are you like whenever you know your husband is coming home or when he arrives home?
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A woman of recreation (4:16; 7:9 – 8:4, 12): She was ready and willing to avail herself sexually to Solomon and she did it with such excitement and passion towards him. How often do you avail yourself sexually towards yours husband in such a way?
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A woman of reconciliation (5:2 – 6:3): It is said that somewhere in those two chapters, the couple had their first argument. As you read it, you can see how she still had kind thoughts and words towards him. What are you like during and after an argument with your spouse?
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I love the example that this woman displays throughout this book. God uses her so much to convict me to be just as compassionate towards my own husband. Whenever I find myself “not in the mood,” God uses her example to get me “in the mood” to love on my dear and sweet hubby. At times, I’m quick to follow her example…and then there are other times when I’m not too quick! I pray that after reading about her, we’ll all come to see that she should no longer be a forgotten woman.
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Prayer:
Dear Lord, thank You for including the Song of Solomon in Your Word. I’m so thankful for how You have allowed this couple to display such a beautiful example of what godly and romantic love looks like – that it’s something to be adored, admired, and adapted in our own lives. Please help us as wives to be like her. In Your name, Amen.
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Challenge:
Go through each of those examples of the Shulamite’s character and try to apply one of them a day. I’m convinced as you avail yourself to the Spirit’s control, you’ll become a newly (or more) passionate woman. Regardless of where your marriage might be, purpose in your heart before the Lord (and accountability partner if need be), that you’re going to strive to be a passionate and expressive wife to your husband.

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Zinnada Hodges 2009