The Idol of Self

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. James 3:16
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When my children were born I knew that being a mother would be hard work. I knew there would be long nights and bad days, a ton of laundry, and changes in what dinner looked like at our house. And yet, when life really did get hard I was completely shocked. Suddenly what I wanted or needed no longer mattered. Who cared if mommy liked lentils and rice? No one else did, so apparently it was a yucky meal. Who cared if mommy liked Pollyanna? No one else did, so it was a banned movie. Who cared if mommy hated the beach? No one else did, so it was a favorite destination. No one else seemed to see the value of a nap, a quiet hour, wiped off counters, or chicken noodle casserole.
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The idea that what I wanted really was a mute point was maddening. After all, I am the mommy. And if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
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I was bowing to the idol of self. The idol of self is the idea that my needs, wants, and desires are so important that others have no business getting in the way of those things. Getting interrupted during my quiet time brought harsh words and looks of disapproval. Sleeping late was more important than my children getting a good breakfast. My like of certain foods was worth others literally going hungry for the night. Plain and simple, this idol is the sin of selfishness and self seeking.
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James tells us that where self seeking exists, confusion and every evil thing are there. It is true! Think of the last time you insisted that your way was the only way. I am certain that peace was not permeating the atmosphere. In my own experience tempers flared and feelings were hurt.
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But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:17,18
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Some might worry that dying to self means teaching children that they are the center of the universe. On the contrary! I am in no way saying that we only cook what our children like or never have rules or discipline. I am saying that our response to situations speaks volumes on what we think of Jesus and His example. Jesus came to serve. He did not crab about washing feet, cooking dinner - on the beach no less, fixing broken things (think of Peter and the guy’s ear in the garden), or dying for something He did not do. He was always available to talk and minister, even when He was trying to get away and be alone for a while. Matthew 14:12-14 He had wisdom from above and lived in that wisdom daily.
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When I insist on living my life as though I am the most important I teach my children to live as if THEY are the most important. I live an example of self seeking and selfishness that is easily learned by impressionable little people. There is a much better way, however. It is not easy by any means, but the fruit it yields is so much more desirable. I need to ditch the self seeking stuff and grab the wisdom from above!

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Prayer:

Father, I desire to be like Jesus, a cheerful servant to all who glorifies You in everything. Please help me to walk in the patience and self control that is mine in Your Holy Spirit. Let my life be an example of Christ likeness to my little ones.

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Challenge:

This week be mindful of times when the idol of self demands your attention. When that rises up it is a sure sign that you need to do the opposite of what you feel - not an easy thing, but possible! Remember to walk in selfless-ness cheerfully or it really doesn't count!

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I highly recommend the book Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp. Although this book is marketed to those with children entering or already in the teen years I believe it is vital reading for all parents, regardless of the age of their children.

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Jen Gorton 2009