Just Being

When our children were young, my husband and I dated each other on a regular basis.  I think our parents saw the wild look in our eyes each week and figured to protect their grandchildren they should give us time away for an evening.  Adrian and I would walk on the beach or picnic in a park, see a movie and eat ice cream while watching the sun set over the lake.  As the kids got older we somehow started turning our dates into functional trips; an excursion to the grocery store, a run through Home Depot, a Wal-Mart visit for underwear.  Our dates became about as exciting as staying up all night with a croupy baby.

Last night, my darling and I broke the vicious cycle and headed out for a ramble through the book store followed by a leisurely dinner at Smokey Bones.  We played catch up after a week of art camp and Pioneer School, discussing everything from our walks with the Lord to this year’s school curriculum.  It was so nice to just…be.

Are you taking time just being with your spouse?  Looking into one another’s eyes, encouraging one another and talking about dreams and plans is so important.  It can be incredibly easy to get so caught up in parenting and life that you forget to carve out time for one another.  One day the kids are going to move out.  Will you know one another or will it be like living with a stranger?  If you do not have children, have you worked harder on your career than your marriage?  When retirement comes will you enjoy being together, or like child focused parents, will you be strangers sharing a bed? (This would just be weird on so many levels.)

If your husband is a believer, you can use dates to walk out these passages in Scripture directed at the Church:

 “But exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin,” Hebrews 3:13 

“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”  Hebrews 10:24, 25

If your darling is not yet a Christ follower, focus on these passages:

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 1 Peter 3:1, 2

“Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:5, 6

Take the time to cultivate your marriage and practice the very important art of just being.

Prayer:

Father, help me to make the time necessary to build my marriage through time alone with my husband.  Please give us the motivation to continue, or to restart, this important part of marriage.  Amen.

Challenge:

Do an online search for great date night ideas in or out of the house.  Make a point to plan at least one date a month, working up to one a week. A date can be a big out on the town to-do or it can be as simple as a Freschetta Pizza and a RedBox movie (one of our favorite date nights!).  The point is making one another the main focus.

Jen G. 2012