Great Expectations - Guest Post

This week’s devotional is actually an email from a dear friend.  She sends lovely ponderings each month that truly cause you to stop and think.  Recently, she wrote about expectations and it was simply too good to keep to myself.  So, with permission from my friend, I give you….Great Expectations.  Some revisions have been made for clarity in this devotional setting.

“People are so quick to become angry or offended when their expectations aren’t met.  It’s hard to first of all know what those expectations are and secondly, to meet them all.  

Why expect so much of people?  Why get offended (or sever a relationship) when an expectation isn’t met?  Here are some expectations followed by thoughts to ponder:

1. Do we expect our husbands to read our minds? (How could he possibly know what I was thinking?)
2. I should have been told first that they were expecting a baby! (It is not the end of the world if I do not know first.  Why steal their joy of sharing the news?)
3. She should have apologized for XYZ! (Why should I expect her to apologize if I never told her I was offended?)
4. My feelings are hurt because she didn’t speak to me at the store. (She probably did not see me in the store.)
5. I heard they don’t like me so I am upset. (I should find out from THEM if they are offended with me and try to make it right...)
6. You didn’t invite me for supper and you invited THEM! (I should assume that person or family needed some one on one TLC and be happy for them.)
7. They didn’t tell me that they are engaged.  I should have been told before anyone else!! (Who made THAT rule?  What does it matter?)
8. You haven’t called me in a whole week! (Are you counting?  Who made a rule that someone needs to call in certain intervals anyway? The phone rings both ways.)
9. You haven’t been to see me in ages! (The road runs both ways, too.)

There are many more examples. My advice: don’t have unreasonable expectations of people.  Give lots and lots of grace in all situations.  Never keep score. Never count. Try never to feel left out.  Choose to believe the best in people.   Those are all choices. 

Not everyone has bad intentions.  Not everyone tries to leave you out or forget you exist.  Not many people conspire behind your back to make you upset, mad, or hurt your feelings. People are human and make mistakes.  Sometimes the list is too long and you are accidentally left off of it.  Sometimes the human mind is frail and forgets.  Sometimes people are thinking of other things and forget.  Maybe you only heard part of the story.  Sometimes they have a good reason (like someone else needing TLC) as to why you weren’t included.  Don’t assume the worst.   Does it really matter in the long run?  A year from now will you still remember (unless you hold grudges which you shouldn’t do anyway)?

Remember: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.   Are you showing true love to others?”

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble.  Psalm 119:165

Prayer:

Father, thank You for experiences that allow me to practice giving grace.  Please help me to not place expectations on other people that set me up as Junior Holy Spirit and Judge.  Amen.

Challenge:

Take a good hard look at your life this week.  Do you place expectations on others that are unreasonable?  Oh, of course, we all have expectations of people who claim Christ acting Christ like, our children being obedient, services being provided in a timely manner, etc.  Those kinds of expectations are good.  Focus on areas of your life that you have set up expectations, if even in your mind, that are unreasonable and unfair to others.

Gayle B. 2012

Edited and revised by Jen G. 2012

Find us onFacebook!

For His Mercy Endures

Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Oh, give thanks to the God of gods! For His mercy endures forever. Oh, give thanks to the Lord of lords! For His mercy endures forever... Psalm 136 1-3 

As my son shared these verses this morning during our church family time, I was drawn to the words, "His mercy endures forever."  Twenty-six times the writer of this Psalm repeats those words. Why does he continuously use the word mercy?  What does mercy have to do with thankfulness? 

Webster's 1828 dictionary defines mercy this way:

[Mercy] implies benevolence, tenderness, mildness, pity or compassion, and clemency,

but exercised only towards offenders. 

Webster's 1828 Dictionary

Notice the last line of that definition. In order to receive mercy you must be an offender.  We are ALL offenders, if not towards another person, then certainly towards the Lord.  And yet, He still gives mercy. It is what each believer in Christ fully experiences the moment they die. That mercy does not wear out or get cast aside when someone sins one time too may.  He does not decide to recant His mercy once it is given. It endures forever. (Ephesians 2:1-10)

Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. Luke 6:36

As Christ followers, we are to extend mercy to others.  How do we do that? Mercy is given when someone hurts you, leaves you or hates you and you choose not to hurt, leave or hate in return.  That seems like such a hard thing to do because it is hard!  Thankfully, the Lord has given us a way of escape in this hard thing. That is done by going directly to Him and asking Him for help to do the thing He has called us to do.

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Hebrews 4:15-16

The Lord's mercy has a continuous existence, it is perpetual, for always, everlasting.  It has an indefinite and unending future, it lasts for eternity.  It is forever and always. (BLB) 

His mercy endureth forever.

That is worth all the thanks we can possibly give. 

Prayer:

Father, there are not enough words to thank You for Your mercy.  Nothing is so high, so wide, so deep as Your unending love and mercy towards me.  As I approach a day set aside for thanksgiving, let me feel Your presence and pleasure daily as I worship and honor You for your great and unending mercy.  Please help me to extend mercy towards those in my life as you have extended it to me. Amen

Challenge:

Read through all of Psalm 136 and then write your own Psalm of thanksgiving.  Think of all the ways the Lord has shown mercy on you and thank Him for each one.  Do you need to extend mercy to someone in your life?  Go boldly before the Lord and ask Him for the help you need.  He is faithful and will give you what you need to do what seems impossible!

Jen G. 2010



Thin Skinned

"People with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense." -Proverbs 19:11

Every now and then, one of our chickens will lay an egg that has no shell. Instead of a shell, the egg will literally be only a thin, leathery membrane of skin. For some reason or other, the egg didn't become calcified before being laid. With no shell, it doesn't take much to destroy the delicate innards of the egg.

It is easy to become offended. It's second nature to allow our innards to become scrambled by life's abrasive and abusive ways. We need to be prepared for the fact that our enemy is merciless and is seeking to destroy us. We must not be thin-skinned! We must put on the armor of God to protect our precious hearts. One of the greatest ways to protect ourselves is through basic obedience to God's Word and self-control.
*

"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." -Proverbs 25:28

Ruling our spirits and submitting them to God's ways protects us from most of what the enemy will throw at us. Life will happen, but how will we react? Men will betray, and many will hurt us without even trying. What will we do?

"For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will not forgive yours." -Matthew 6:14&15

Forgiveness protects us from not only destroying ourselves with bitterness, but also from the wrath of God. Forgiveness is like a shell protecting us. God will not forgive us our offenses if we do not forgive others. If a holy God can overlook our offenses when we humble ourselves and repent, who are we to not do the same to fellow people when we are no better than they are?

Let us not live like the "reject" eggs from my chickens. They are formless, floppy, and vulnerable to nearly every provocation. Instead, let us be conformed to the image of Christ who bore no bitterness despite the fact that he was the most wrongfully assaulted person ever. Let us not be weak and floppy, but strengthened and renewed by waiting upon the Lord and exercising ourselves spiritually so we are fit enough to do battle for others in the name of our Lord. As we bear the name and standard of Christ's righteousness, may we be found without chinks in our armor due to our own lack of self-government.
*

Dearest friend, overlook offenses and rule your spirit. Our just Lord will surely settle all accounts and make all things right. We believe He is good and trustworthy, so let us act like it. (Psalm 17)

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for giving me the tools to escape the temptation of offence.  Please help me to guard my heart from a root of bitterness and resentment.  Those things do not honor you in any way.  Amen.

 

Challenge:

Search your heart for any offences you might have taken. Spend time in prayer asking the Lord to clear your mind and heart.  Seek godly, trustworthy counsel if you simply are not making headway in this area.  The Lord wants us to walk with pure hearts filled with His love and mercy.

 

Adrienne M. 2010 - Provision Farm

To Be Like the Father

“Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” And He laid His hands on them…” Matthew 19:13-15a

The kitchen is the hub of my home. Each day I teach my children there, cook there, even my laptop is there. The rest of the house could blow away and we would probably be just fine as long as the kitchen (and at least one bathroom) stayed put.

As you probably have deduced from my description, the very fact that I was alone in this room one day this week is a highly unusual thing. Anyway, I was alone and enjoying every minute of it. My hands were busy making calzone rolls and my ears were catching an entire episode of Focus on the Family. Life was about perfect. Then I heard it - the sound of feet on the stairs and a little voice.

“Mommyyyyyyyy….”

The irritation was instant. “How aggravating! Here I am with a little bit of time, finally, to be alone and someone needs me.” For the love of Pete – can’t they ever leave me alone?!!”

Cue the voice of God.

“When is the last time you came to Me and I responded with irritation?”

Ouch.

As a parent, I am a representation of the Lord to my children. One of my most important jobs is to teach them about the Father’s love, compassion, patience, mercy, judgment, righteousness and even righteous anger. If I react with irritation and frustration when a child comes to me with a need, what does that say about the Lord - the One I am teaching them to pray to about everything that concerns them?

My goal is to change my reactions to my precious children to reflect the reactions of my heavenly Father to me, His precious child. He is always fair, full of love, just and merciful, firm and decisive in His correction and punishment, always willing to forgive and give good gifts. He is never too busy to hear me or to answer. I want to be like Him.

“When Jesus heard what had happened [the murder of John the Baptist], He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed Him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:13-14

Prayer:

Father, thank You for your consistent love for me. Thank you for always being there when I come to You with a need. Please help me to ever mindful of the privilege of reflecting You to my children. Amen.

Challenge:

Watch for opportunities this week to act in the character of God in your relationships. Search the Scriptures for examples of the Lord’s reaction to sin, need, etc. 

Jen G. 2010

The Righteous Gavel

Psalm 37:7-9
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

*
*
Shortly after my cousin was murdered this past November, I was asked a series of normal culture questions which began with the “how” and “why’s.” There was one question in particular that I recognized as a test from God. This question was posed by a complete stranger who struck up a conversation with me in a check-out line. She had noticed the amount of sympathy cards that I was purchasing. I shared briefly what had happened and that my cousin came from a large family and I was looking to comfort them all in some small way. She went on to ask; “Aren’t you really angry, I’m sure you all just want justice!” I remember my response quite vividly. I told her, “Well, of course I want justice; but I believe that the final word always comes from GOD Himself and I’m trusting in whatever He allows.” Now, I wish you could have seen her face. She looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. She responded “How can you have that kind of response, I would want to kill someone!”
*
Please understand this, my response that day was not a human response at all, but rather it was a biblical one. I was kind of shocked by it myself. I explained to the woman in the store that “anger” is exactly what led to the death of my cousin and that I was trying to be careful not to go there. I further explained that “agitation” was allowed to turn into anger and then a choice was made to respond to the anger which resulted in the act of murder. We both finally concluded that there is a real lesson within these kinds of tragedies. Do I believe these men set out to kill my cousin? No, but I do believe they all underestimated the power of anger. Do I want fair justice, you bet I do, and I’m praying for it!
*
The truth is it’s often very difficult to wait upon the Lord when things appear unfair, but we need to do just that. My cousin’s death was unfair, and at present it appears these young men are getting away with murder. However, it is important to understand that what appears to be a success or a blessing at times, is simply a temporal illusion. The real reward will be an eternal inheritance that awaits those who have placed their trust in Jesus Christ and have repented from sin. When it appears that justice has not been served, rest assured GOD alone has the final word. He promises to right every wrong; His Holy Word says just that.
*
King David tells us in the Psalms that “the Lord knows the days of the upright; and their inheritance shall be forever.” It is quite possible that the men that killed my cousin may not get the sentence we believe they should get here on earth. Nevertheless, we are told not to envy people who appear to be receiving an award on earth. Our true reward comes in heaven for those who surrender their sin to GOD. May these young men do just that before it’s too late.
*

Prayer:

Father thank You that You are the God of justice. Please help me to remember that what might seem unfair to my earthly eyes is all taken in by You. You see all and know all and will bring justice in Your perfect timing. Help me to rest in You and Your judicial hand. We also pray that the men involved in this crime would take responsibility for their actions. Lord You were there; You saw it all, and we ask that You reveal all the facts necessary to bring about rightful justice. If possible I also pray these families can avoid a long drawn out trial. In Your Son’s Name we pray. Amen.
*

Challenge:

Keep your eyes on the eternal prize of Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith. He is the One who will bring vindication and truth in all circumstances. Guard your heart against vengeful feelings and resentful attitudes.
*

Pam C. 2010

Fresh Starts

Several years ago I had an interesting conversation with two friends regarding the topic of fresh starts and New Year’s Resolutions. I was sharing how I preferred to start new things or start things over on Mondays; if math went wrong on Wednesday we would start over on Monday. If I realized on Monday night that I needed to start waking up earlier I would plan to start on Monday of the next week. If I was rushed and neglected my time with the Lord on Thursday I would fix it on, you guessed it, Monday. New Year’s Day rarely starts on a Monday, so surely they could see that resolutions were really pointless for me.
*
My friends quickly pointed out that my ‘logic’ was completely illogical and totally unbiblical to boot. They shared Lamentations 3:23: “They (the Lord’s mercies) are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.”
*
Although this verse does not speak of starting over with school, waking, or quiet times it speaks volumes about the Lord’s faithfulness and the fact that He does not wait. Can you imagine if He waited until Monday to forgive me for screaming at my kids on Friday? Talk about living with guilt! What if I had accepted Christ in June and He didn’t count it until January 1st and I died in August?!!
*
The irrationality of my fresh start idea was becoming very clear to me. If I am supposed to be like Jesus in all things, then I needed to fix my ideas on new beginnings! Thankfully, I did and I now start over many times a day.
*
It is ironic that many years after that conversation I am now hosting a devotional site called Fresh Start Mondays. It just shows my desire to be orderly, I guess, and begin each week with a plan and goal. Please be assured that each devotional and challenge will work no matter what day of the week it is read. It is never the wrong time for a fresh start.
*
Prayer:
Father, thank You for fresh starts. Thank You for forgiving us at the point of repentance, for aligning provision before the need, for speaking at just the right time. Your example of new mercies speaks to me daily and I desire to emulate You in my life. Amen.
*
Challenge:
If you struggle with putting off what you need to do – physically or spiritually – be encouraged to start fresh right now. If you need to exercise, don’t wait until January 1. If you need to have a daily quiet time, be sure to have one before bed tonight. Celebrate each fresh start by stopping and thanking the Lord for the opportunity to begin again – again!
*
Jen 2009