Great Expectations - Guest Post

This week’s devotional is actually an email from a dear friend.  She sends lovely ponderings each month that truly cause you to stop and think.  Recently, she wrote about expectations and it was simply too good to keep to myself.  So, with permission from my friend, I give you….Great Expectations.  Some revisions have been made for clarity in this devotional setting.

“People are so quick to become angry or offended when their expectations aren’t met.  It’s hard to first of all know what those expectations are and secondly, to meet them all.  

Why expect so much of people?  Why get offended (or sever a relationship) when an expectation isn’t met?  Here are some expectations followed by thoughts to ponder:

1. Do we expect our husbands to read our minds? (How could he possibly know what I was thinking?)
2. I should have been told first that they were expecting a baby! (It is not the end of the world if I do not know first.  Why steal their joy of sharing the news?)
3. She should have apologized for XYZ! (Why should I expect her to apologize if I never told her I was offended?)
4. My feelings are hurt because she didn’t speak to me at the store. (She probably did not see me in the store.)
5. I heard they don’t like me so I am upset. (I should find out from THEM if they are offended with me and try to make it right...)
6. You didn’t invite me for supper and you invited THEM! (I should assume that person or family needed some one on one TLC and be happy for them.)
7. They didn’t tell me that they are engaged.  I should have been told before anyone else!! (Who made THAT rule?  What does it matter?)
8. You haven’t called me in a whole week! (Are you counting?  Who made a rule that someone needs to call in certain intervals anyway? The phone rings both ways.)
9. You haven’t been to see me in ages! (The road runs both ways, too.)

There are many more examples. My advice: don’t have unreasonable expectations of people.  Give lots and lots of grace in all situations.  Never keep score. Never count. Try never to feel left out.  Choose to believe the best in people.   Those are all choices. 

Not everyone has bad intentions.  Not everyone tries to leave you out or forget you exist.  Not many people conspire behind your back to make you upset, mad, or hurt your feelings. People are human and make mistakes.  Sometimes the list is too long and you are accidentally left off of it.  Sometimes the human mind is frail and forgets.  Sometimes people are thinking of other things and forget.  Maybe you only heard part of the story.  Sometimes they have a good reason (like someone else needing TLC) as to why you weren’t included.  Don’t assume the worst.   Does it really matter in the long run?  A year from now will you still remember (unless you hold grudges which you shouldn’t do anyway)?

Remember: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.   Are you showing true love to others?”

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble.  Psalm 119:165

Prayer:

Father, thank You for experiences that allow me to practice giving grace.  Please help me to not place expectations on other people that set me up as Junior Holy Spirit and Judge.  Amen.

Challenge:

Take a good hard look at your life this week.  Do you place expectations on others that are unreasonable?  Oh, of course, we all have expectations of people who claim Christ acting Christ like, our children being obedient, services being provided in a timely manner, etc.  Those kinds of expectations are good.  Focus on areas of your life that you have set up expectations, if even in your mind, that are unreasonable and unfair to others.

Gayle B. 2012

Edited and revised by Jen G. 2012

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