A Matter of Honor

Children’s children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.  Proverbs 17:6

My husband and I are blessed to be in a church where my father is pastor.  For our entire marriage we have enjoyed the benefits of a personal 24 hour day ‘Dial a Preacher’ line, immense wisdom, and a walking, talking concordance with cell phone reach-ability all over the world.  We greatly respect Dad!  Recently, however, we were convicted of a subtle sin in our lives: a lack of showing honor to my father.  If you had ever asked me if I thought this was something we were guilty of I would have laughed in your face.  Us? Failing to show honor and respect for the family patriarch?  Ha!  Sadly, it was true. 

We had begun to notice little things that some of our children were saying and doing, all of which smacked of a lack of honor and respect for men.  Oh, it was nothing blatant or outright awful, but we could sense it under the surface.  Adrian and I began to pray, asking the Lord to show us what was causing this.  Turns out, our own actions were teaching our children some very bad habits. I will address my own behavior to give you an idea of how a lack of honoring is taught. (Personally, I think the bulk of the blame lies with me, but my godly husband understands his role and responsibility as head of our home and is not one to throw me under a bus.)

My own delight in giving my two cents was telling my children that Dad and Grandpa really could not make good decisions without my counsel.  Joking about things such as what Daddy was wearing or what Grandpa was eating translated that these grown, mature men needed someone to help them with the very basic choices of each day because they were just too simple-minded to figure it out on their own.  Second guessing decisions that these men had prayed about was undermining their place as leaders in our family.  All of this was rubbing against everything else my husband and I were trying to teach our children about esteeming men of God.

He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. Proverbs 19:26

We are so thankful that the Lord made us aware of this dangerous and erosive behavior in our lives.  We repented to my father and are making changes in how we speak to him, especially in front of the children. 

And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves. 1 Thessalonians 5:12, 13

The scariest thing about all of this: we could not see our sin.  It was so subtle that even Dad was a little confused when we asked his forgiveness!  Praise God that our children are like little barometers.  They will act out what they are taught, even the silent lessons we do not realize we are teaching. 

Prayer:

Father, thank You for your Holy Spirit who came to be a helper, showing us the areas of our lives that are displeasing to You.  Please open our eyes to the things that bring dishonor to Your name and to those who are older or in a place of authority in our lives.  Amen

Challenge:

If you see behaviors in your children that are contrary to what you are verbally teaching them, examine your own life for silent lessons you might be presenting: lack of respect for your husband by leaving him out of decisions involving schooling or church attendance; unkindness through sarcastic words disguised as a joke; lack of self control dressed up as a free spirit; a controlling spirit cloaked in a hyper-scheduled day.

If you see this sin in your own life, humble yourself, go to the person and repent.  Then change your actions and heart attitude and begin to repair that which has been torn down!

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

Jen G 2012