No What Ifs

MrsB:) 2011

THIS IS my beloved and THIS IS my friend…Song of Solomon 5:16

My husband and I are not ones who regularly celebrate Valentine’s Day (“Every day is Valentine’s Day with you, Snookems…”). And neither do we regularly watch movies. So what caused me to go to Redbox and choose a love story so close to Valentine’s Day?

For many current and veteran homeschooling moms, one prayer we pray is that our children and grandchildren would give their hearts to only the Lord and to only the person they marry. Sadly, this was not the case for some of us. In fact, on my wedding day, the young man with whom I thought I had once been madly in love passed through the wedding hall just before the ceremony and leaned in to whisper something in my ear. He and I both had the good sense to let that moment pass. But what was he going to say to me? What if…?

That could have been the name of this movie. It was about an older woman who had loved and lost; it was about her subsequent search to find this man 50 years later, after spending a near-lifetime with another. They did find each other, and they did live happily ever after, as far as I can tell.

But at the end of the movie, my heart was so sad. What was wrong with me? Shouldn’t I have been glad that she found the one her heart had pined for all those years? No, I was not glad. All I could think about was how her husband, who she said was a good man, never really had all of her heart. And how she never went to sleep knowing, not for even one night in a half-century of living, that the man she was lying beside was her gift from God. Maybe her husband never knew about the shadowy chamber of her heart that he was not privy to, but if he had, how would he have ever sacrificed joyfully day in and day out for her and their family? Would he have been tormented by her “what if…?”

Dear ones, “This is my beloved and this is my friend…” The husband you have right now is your gift from God. Despite all his foibles, he is good for you, he is perfect for you, and he is from the Lord. How do I know? “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17 NIV). Thankfully, shortly after we were married, I did allow the Lord and my husband into that shadowy chamber of my heart.

Prayer:

Lord, help me to let go of all my “what if” issues of the past and embrace the “this is” from Your hand. This is my beloved, this is my friend, and this is the day You have made; I will rejoice and be glad in it! Help me to trust that You have sent this good and perfect-for-me man as my husband, so that together we can bring You glory.

Challenge:

Let’s let go of any of our shadowy “what if” issues (not just marriage-related ones) and embrace our “this is” opportunities gladly and with rejoicing! Let’s ask the Lord to give us one thing that we can say or do this week for our “this is” husbands that would demonstrate to them that they have all of our heart now and – for as long as we breathe life together – they always will.

PS – I know that some of us in this blog community have suffered through a divorce or have lost our husbands through death. Some of us have remarried. Some of us might be in marriages that need a miracle due to abuse, abandonment, addiction, or other pain. This is not meant to speak to those issues in any way. If you would like, I know that many of us who read these would join with you in prayer to ask the Lord for such a miracle. Leave a comment or email Jen privately, and we will pray.

MrsB : ) 2011