Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1
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Speaking graciously is something that is very important to me. The importance I place on graciousness is most likely due to my own lack of it as a child and teen. If you were being a jerk I was happy to tell you in so many words. None of those words, of course, improved the situation. Hence, my journey to becoming a woman of gracious words.
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Being gracious is a good thing, but there are times it can become a tricky trap. Proverbs 26:24-26 says, “He who hates, disguises it with his lips, and lays up deceit within himself; when he speaks kindly, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.” In other words, there is such a thing as a gracious liar.
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I am sad to say that I have fallen into this trap. There have been times when someone exploded all over me in anger or hurt. Sometimes I just happened to be there at the ‘right time’, but in other cases I was the cause. Gracious words poured from my mouth making me sound like a second cousin to Gabriel, all while my heart was full of anything but love towards the exploding person. Translation: My words were gracious. My heart was not.
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When a person detonates, should I launch my own attack, telling the truth and leaving no question of my feelings? No! First, I should guard my mouth, carefully weighing the words I am about to speak. (Proverbs 21:23) The next step is to quickly pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23,24) The final step is speaking the truth in love to promote unity in the Body (Ephesians 4).
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To quote the housekeeper from Meet Me in St. Louis, “A lie is a lie. Dressin’ it in white won’t help it.” Being gracious without being truthful might look good on the outside, but on the inside it is ugly. The Lord desires truth to be in me (Psalm 51:6), in turn spilling out of me to others. Gracious words without loving truth backing them up are simply gracious lies.
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Prayer:
Father, help me to be a gracious woman inside and out. Help me to be truthful in love, speaking life into those I encounter. Amen
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Challenge:
Examine your heart. Are you a gracious liar? Do you hold back truth because you are afraid of the possible reaction? Maybe you have the opposite problem of speaking the truth in all circumstances with the effect of a piercing sword. Meditate on these verses and ask the Lord to make you a gracious woman of truth. Proverbs 11:16, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 13:3, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 18:24, Proverbs 19:22, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 13.
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Speaking graciously is something that is very important to me. The importance I place on graciousness is most likely due to my own lack of it as a child and teen. If you were being a jerk I was happy to tell you in so many words. None of those words, of course, improved the situation. Hence, my journey to becoming a woman of gracious words.
*
Being gracious is a good thing, but there are times it can become a tricky trap. Proverbs 26:24-26 says, “He who hates, disguises it with his lips, and lays up deceit within himself; when he speaks kindly, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.” In other words, there is such a thing as a gracious liar.
*
I am sad to say that I have fallen into this trap. There have been times when someone exploded all over me in anger or hurt. Sometimes I just happened to be there at the ‘right time’, but in other cases I was the cause. Gracious words poured from my mouth making me sound like a second cousin to Gabriel, all while my heart was full of anything but love towards the exploding person. Translation: My words were gracious. My heart was not.
*
When a person detonates, should I launch my own attack, telling the truth and leaving no question of my feelings? No! First, I should guard my mouth, carefully weighing the words I am about to speak. (Proverbs 21:23) The next step is to quickly pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23,24) The final step is speaking the truth in love to promote unity in the Body (Ephesians 4).
*
To quote the housekeeper from Meet Me in St. Louis, “A lie is a lie. Dressin’ it in white won’t help it.” Being gracious without being truthful might look good on the outside, but on the inside it is ugly. The Lord desires truth to be in me (Psalm 51:6), in turn spilling out of me to others. Gracious words without loving truth backing them up are simply gracious lies.
*
Prayer:
Father, help me to be a gracious woman inside and out. Help me to be truthful in love, speaking life into those I encounter. Amen
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Challenge:
Examine your heart. Are you a gracious liar? Do you hold back truth because you are afraid of the possible reaction? Maybe you have the opposite problem of speaking the truth in all circumstances with the effect of a piercing sword. Meditate on these verses and ask the Lord to make you a gracious woman of truth. Proverbs 11:16, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 13:3, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 18:24, Proverbs 19:22, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 13.
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Jen 2010
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