Fresh Starts is pleased to bring a devotional from a new contributor. Zinnada shares what the Lord is doing in her life at her lovely blog, Three Princesses and a Prince.
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Yesterday was a hard day. The morning began without any electricity due to a storm that past through our area during the night. We were left without any electricity until later that morning. So, I must admit, I was a bit discouraged about that. Not having electricity revealed how much I rely on electricity to get me through the day rather than trusting in the Lord.
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When the electricity finally came on, I was able to turn on the computer. Since we’re taking a school break, I allow the kids to watch their DVD’s and their cartoons. We don’t have cable, but they are still able to view the Disney & Nick, Jr. cartoons through the internet. So, I was trying to turn on one of their favorite Disney cartoons and wanted them to sit quietly as I proceeded to turn it on. Well, as you may know, that was an unrealistic request.
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Just as they were sitting there, one of my dear daughters decided to SLUG her sister! “What?” were my thoughts. When I asked her why, she said that she was playing with her. My husband and I have been telling them NOT to play fight. So, since I was already frustrated with the computer not allowing me to pull up a Disney cartoon, having to deal with that act wasn’t any better.
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So, I asked the dear child to give me her hand. Well, this particular one DOESN’T make her “loving” easy for us. So, having to deal with the matter became harder than it needed to be. After it was over, I felt so tired and discouraged. It affected me throughout the rest of the day. I kept thinking and wondering, “Why does it have to be so HARD?” I kept bringing that before the Lord and had planned to talk about it with my hubby later that night.
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Well, we both had a busy night and weren’t able to talk until the following morning. He suggested that for now since I’m pregnant, it’s best to let him deal with the “loving” when he gets home. I confess, a sense of PRIDE came over me. It’s a little hard to think that I have to wait for a particular child to be “loved” on. But, it’s just for this time.
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During my time in the word, I felt the Spirit lead me to Proverb 13:24. That passage of scripture challenged me to really think of my MOTIVES for “loving”. Am I doing it because MY “law” has been broken? Am I doing it because of my pride? Basically, I need to stop and question…WHY?
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I have to admit, stopping to examine my motives is VERY humbling. Ephesians 6:4 really caused me to REALLY desire to be careful with what and how I’m “loving” the kids. I’ve always looked at that verse being basically for the fathers and it does, but it’s also used for parents in general, which can include Mommy too.
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As I was reading my notes (I use the John MacArthur’s Study Bible), I was humbled by what I read. I began to question if whenever I’m “loving” the kids, is my desire and purpose is to draw them to the Father or to simply obey ME and to NEVER disobey ME again.
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Basically am I setting myself up as the “god” to obey or am I ushering them towards obedience to the God of the bible? I was reminded that based on John 1:13, it’s the Lord who gives the right to become children of God, not Mommy’s “loving”.
*
So, what am I saying? I’m not in ANY way saying not to “love” on our kids. Scripture CLEARLY exhorts us to do that. What I am saying is that whenever your child needs some “loving”. Hold that “loving tool” in your hand and recognize your need for His help to be self-controlled and gospel centered at that time and then SWIFTLY be ready for reconciliation. Knowing that your child is not going to change his or her behavior based on your actions, but only by the grace of God through His choosing to save their souls. Let us “love” on our children with a humble hand praying that through our obedience in dealing with the situation that God would one day choose our child to be in the kingdom.
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*
When the electricity finally came on, I was able to turn on the computer. Since we’re taking a school break, I allow the kids to watch their DVD’s and their cartoons. We don’t have cable, but they are still able to view the Disney & Nick, Jr. cartoons through the internet. So, I was trying to turn on one of their favorite Disney cartoons and wanted them to sit quietly as I proceeded to turn it on. Well, as you may know, that was an unrealistic request.
*
Just as they were sitting there, one of my dear daughters decided to SLUG her sister! “What?” were my thoughts. When I asked her why, she said that she was playing with her. My husband and I have been telling them NOT to play fight. So, since I was already frustrated with the computer not allowing me to pull up a Disney cartoon, having to deal with that act wasn’t any better.
*
So, I asked the dear child to give me her hand. Well, this particular one DOESN’T make her “loving” easy for us. So, having to deal with the matter became harder than it needed to be. After it was over, I felt so tired and discouraged. It affected me throughout the rest of the day. I kept thinking and wondering, “Why does it have to be so HARD?” I kept bringing that before the Lord and had planned to talk about it with my hubby later that night.
*
Well, we both had a busy night and weren’t able to talk until the following morning. He suggested that for now since I’m pregnant, it’s best to let him deal with the “loving” when he gets home. I confess, a sense of PRIDE came over me. It’s a little hard to think that I have to wait for a particular child to be “loved” on. But, it’s just for this time.
*
During my time in the word, I felt the Spirit lead me to Proverb 13:24. That passage of scripture challenged me to really think of my MOTIVES for “loving”. Am I doing it because MY “law” has been broken? Am I doing it because of my pride? Basically, I need to stop and question…WHY?
*
I have to admit, stopping to examine my motives is VERY humbling. Ephesians 6:4 really caused me to REALLY desire to be careful with what and how I’m “loving” the kids. I’ve always looked at that verse being basically for the fathers and it does, but it’s also used for parents in general, which can include Mommy too.
*
As I was reading my notes (I use the John MacArthur’s Study Bible), I was humbled by what I read. I began to question if whenever I’m “loving” the kids, is my desire and purpose is to draw them to the Father or to simply obey ME and to NEVER disobey ME again.
*
Basically am I setting myself up as the “god” to obey or am I ushering them towards obedience to the God of the bible? I was reminded that based on John 1:13, it’s the Lord who gives the right to become children of God, not Mommy’s “loving”.
*
So, what am I saying? I’m not in ANY way saying not to “love” on our kids. Scripture CLEARLY exhorts us to do that. What I am saying is that whenever your child needs some “loving”. Hold that “loving tool” in your hand and recognize your need for His help to be self-controlled and gospel centered at that time and then SWIFTLY be ready for reconciliation. Knowing that your child is not going to change his or her behavior based on your actions, but only by the grace of God through His choosing to save their souls. Let us “love” on our children with a humble hand praying that through our obedience in dealing with the situation that God would one day choose our child to be in the kingdom.
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Prayer:
Dear Lord, thank You for showing me my sin of pride whenever I’m “loving” our children. Please continue to humble me at that very moment in order for that child to see his or her sin and need to trust in You for salvation one day. In Jesus name, Amen.
Dear Lord, thank You for showing me my sin of pride whenever I’m “loving” our children. Please continue to humble me at that very moment in order for that child to see his or her sin and need to trust in You for salvation one day. In Jesus name, Amen.
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Challenge:
When you are faced with disciplining your child this week be sure to stop and consider what was shared this week. Ask yourself the question, "Am I upset because my child caused me to be inconvenienced or am I upset because my child's heart is not in line with the Lord?" Then be sure to stop and pray, relying 100% on the Lord's grace and wisdom to get you through the time of "loving".
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Zinnada Hodges 2009
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Other references:
Titus 3:5; Hebrews 12:5-11; John 1:13; Ephesians 6:4
Titus 3:5; Hebrews 12:5-11; John 1:13; Ephesians 6:4
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